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The Tunneler
 IP: 69.213.254.47 Jan 18, 06 - 10:53 AM |
Scientists discover new element
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government." Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second! Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. 
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Bruce Hulman
IP: 70.226.45.60 Jan 19th, 2006 - 9:37 AM |
Re: Scientists discover new element
Au contraire Tunneler. Governmentium does decay and it is decaying now at a rate that is incredible. In fact, world scientists are amazed at the rate of decay. You mention the force holding Governmentium (Gv) together as Morons. I think you missed the latest discovery. The morons you speak of themselves are really a physical manifestation of idiotic forces that are akin to cosmic rays. I know this has "Buck Rogers" overtones but most of the world physicists are truly incredulous. We know it's not easily handled by so many chemists who as you might know are part of Congress and mostly the Executive Branch. You see, chemists have a unique skill..they can turn money into **** or, at the very least, waste money. One other feature you failed to address is that there is a certain person who the scientists believe is really an extra-terrestrial living in the anthropomorphic form of a person from the State of Texas. Kind of like "Close Encounters of the Worst Kind." This extraterrestrial creature has trouble speaking and you'd know him anywhere due to his speaking mannerisms. You used the term moron and it is odd that this extra terrestrial is alleged to have come from a distant galaxy called the Moronia and it is just beyond the Hemorrhoid Belt. I just thought you'd like to know. I respectfully offer this addition to your initial assertion in the hope of keeping our minds fully exercised and in tune with what's going on (Thank you Marvin Gaye!). |
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