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Don\\'s view...
 IP: 69.223.84.9 Nov 20, 06 - 11:29 AM |
Happy Thanksgiving
Life as a Turkey Since President Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a National Holiday in 1863. When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop; Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, When he told me of the horrors of ... Black November; "Come about August, now listen to me, Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three." "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin, And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin; And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed, In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head." "Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald 'n pink, And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink; And then comes the worst part," he said not bluffing, She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!" Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat; I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked. I began a new diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola; And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, I stayed in my room doing exercise tapes. I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half, And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed; But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath, As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death. And sure enough when Black November rolled around, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound! So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap, I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap. She held me today, while sewing and humming, And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming ...  Anonymous |
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Another Reader
IP: 69.223.84.9 Nov 20th, 2006 - 11:46 AM |
Re: Happy Thanksgiving
Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving 01. Talk about a huge breast! 02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 03. It's Cool Whip time! 04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 05. That's one terrific spread! 06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 07. Are you ready for seconds yet? 08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! |
Bruce Hulman
IP: 67.38.21.249 Nov 22nd, 2006 - 9:45 AM |
Re: Happy Thanksgiving
And on the side of the "First Turkey" would be lettered.."EAT ME!" |
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Mystery Guest
IP: 189.172.28.86 Nov 24th, 2006 - 8:00 PM |
Re: Happy Thanksgiving
Wasn't there another stanza to this? Something about Christmas maybe? |
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