Depersonalization Forum

Please use this forum to discuss information directly related to Depersonalization Disorder. We welcome you to share your own personal experiences with others as well as any treatment or study programs you may know about. We have been forced to restructure the Forum so we could have editing access as needed and be able to Archive older comments once they disappear.  Sorry for the temporary inconvenience, but now we will able to post older material for reference.

Forum: Depersonalization Forum
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Re: The effect of opioid drugs on DP/DR symptoms (personal experience)

figures. nobody is continuing to converse. we are not uncaring but... it is so hard. i am taking noltrexone but i just started on it. don't have an opinion on it yet. i answered this thread because it isn't from months ago and i thought i might get an answer. i feel very alone this morning. it has been a long journey. i don't feel sorry for it but life is dull, boring, and scary at the same time. i don't want to live and i don't want to die surprised and in terror. i think of suicide a lot and i am wondering if others do too. to expect death, to be ready for it, and to be done with life, sometimes is a lot more appealing to me than wanting to live. when i want to live i am just amazed at how little control of that i have. may be i am a control freak! anyhow depersonalization is terrible and wonderful at the same time. i've had it all my life it seems. i am surprised at how marijuana is being railroaded as a culprit. it saved my life at one point and continues to help me when i get too serious. i don't use it much. i take a hit, just one, now and then, like every month or so. i think it's spirit is being stolen from it perhaps. it is a living being and it is being treated as a commodity and it's effects are acting as such. in my day we smoked happy healthy weed with seeds. now in door is very strange and toxic looking. more research needs done because the very drug that causes depersonalization could also be the medicine for recovery in very small doses. thanks for hearing me out. i just want to be able to keep living with this and i went years without pot and it didn't help. the small amounts do help out. i must admit that to you. but i stick with outdoor and i barely use it at all really. i tend to get very down and axious and pot tunes me back in to the taste of food, water, and my body, breathing, etc. it is good, one hit a month. or two. any more than that is no good at all. i will admit that too. in fact i haven't done any for at least a month and that could help me right now. i am so unintouch that i never know when i should use it. i usually wait too long. i call it an m break. i also take an occasional xanax or ativan but i hate those drugs. i feel more blacked out but they do give my body a break from being constantly vigil. thanks again. is there anybody out there?

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