Please use this forum to discuss information directly related to Depersonalization Disorder. We welcome you to share your own personal experiences with others as well as any treatment or study programs you may know about. We have been forced to restructure the Forum so we could have editing access as needed and be able to Archive older comments once they disappear. Sorry for the temporary inconvenience, but now we will able to post older material for reference.
Re: The effect of opioid drugs on DP/DR symptoms (personal experience)
I sympathize with everything you say. And yes, I too have been thinking about life and death (what if one just disappeared, etc.) a lot since my DPD first started. Probably, almost anyone who suffers from this chronically does have these thoughts at one point or another. So you're not alone. Finding a name for this disturbing condition and realizing that there are more such people out there did comfort me a bit.
But I also understand how you and everyone else feel about it: You want to eventually OVERCOME it and not to wallow in self-pity.
Anything (be it an activity or medicine) which shows you a glimpse of normality or makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin is a glimmer of hope. I like to regard my ongoing struggle with DPD as sort of a puzzle of these moments/interventions/medications that, when assembled in the right way, will lead me out of this. And on a side note, I don't think that the Marijuana itself is DIRECTLY (neurochemically speaking) responsible for depersonalization. It just often seems to be MEDIATED by it, triggering panic/anxiety in certain individuals which then somehow leads to these feelings of DP/DR. No matter what, don't constantly blame yourself for a single action. You likely had a predisposition. See, mine was caused by stress + bad sleep. It actually was one of those rare situations where I felt very anxious due to pressure (I'm normally rather stoic). Now it's all gone and I cannot link my DPD to anything. There's no conscious stress/anxiety whatsoever.
Recently, I took the DHC for two days in a row and it's definitely breaking my symptoms, no doubt about it. As mentioned above, just knowing there is something out there which is able to help you (regardless of practicability) makes a tremendous difference. I hope you will soon discover your own gleam of hope, the same way I did.