Please use this forum to discuss information directly related to Depersonalization Disorder. We welcome you to share your own personal experiences with others as well as any treatment or study programs you may know about. We have been forced to restructure the Forum so we could have editing access as needed and be able to Archive older comments once they disappear. Sorry for the temporary inconvenience, but now we will able to post older material for reference.
Excessive rumination about the nature of existence, the strangeness of it all, is often experienced by people with DPD. So-called normal people may think these things too, but it is the intensity of such thinking, the relentness of it, and its affect on a person that makes the difference. DPD strips through the defenses we have spent a lifetime building up within ourselves to keep us from thinkin exessively about such things. Most people are just involved in living, and rarely think about abstract concepts or about thinking, or going crazy. They rarely even think about their brains; sometimes rarely even use them, it seems. All of this is one of the confusing aspects of DPD. In this case, the rumination may stem in part from the feeling of dissolution of the Ego, your own anchored self. Yet other people feel detached, dissociated, strange etc., without these same excessive ruminations. For others, the DPD is more "dissociative' than existential or anxiety-related. This would seem to indicate that there are numerous neurochemical systems being affected at once, with different people feeling the results of different brain problems, all of which still fall into the overall heading of depersonalization.
That is EXACTLY what my panic attacks lead to...or what leads to them...or maybe both. I started having those thoughts in childhood...and I felt 'unrecognizable' to myself....as thought I didn't know who I was....you are not crazy. You are not alone. A lot of people think these things...maybe we are more intelligent, more introspective, more sensitive....This site is the only one i know of that helps people like us.