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I have not seen a doctor about my problems and me being me, its unlikely that its ever going to happen. So here's the problem. I am not sure if I am actually going through the same pain as you are and I hate the idea of me being sick. I havent discussed this with anyone I know. 'Normal' people go blank occasionally with me its almost all the time. My brain just blanks out, my brain actually stops the process of thought.When in such a state which is half the time, I do not process anything that my eyes see and I end up smoking or kicking stones, something to keep my arms or legs busy. I am happy while I am working but again every now and then I end up staring at the screen like a looney just totally blanking out.
This has been a problem now for over a couple of years, now I cannot have proper conversations with people because my head wont come up with anything to say. Obviously its taken a toll on my life, havent been involved n a relationship for the past two years, gave up my hobbies (vdo games, pool).
I have come back after hitting rock bottom, but this has been tough and its not going away. I am sure someone out there has fought it back, I dont know regular amounts of spirits, boxing, bubbly partner? Does prescribed medication work? By the way sometimes, when I am really having a laugh or enjoying the moments with close friends around, I dont blank out that often but again, I abruptly stop lauging at times without any words to say. I mean I would love to have a really good time all the time so that I am more me than this stupid ghost person, but its just not possible as other people have other commitments. I will really appreciate someone coming up with a positive response.
What you seem to be describing is the kind of "mind-emptiness" that people with DPD can experience. What happened to me, to my thoughts? they wonder. It feels as if the self, or the soul has disappeared, and you wind up going through the motions of life, thinking without feeling or just not feeling anything. People with DPD, strangely, can also feel the opposite, namely an obsession with the self, with nonstop, loud internal dialogues that won't quiet down. This doesn't mean that you necessarily suffer from DPD—just are experiencing a DP symptom, for the time being. And it is something that many people inexplicably feel from time to time. From personal experience, I have found that Oscar Wilde's prescription for ennui— "sleep, drink, or travel"— can sometimes work as the stimulus needed to snap back into a more comfortable pattern of thought. Of these, drinking is probably the least helpful. Just some thoughts...
I’m new to the DP world but I have probably been dealing with this for over 40 years since childhood.
I got into this first by owning my “spacing out”, identifying some ADD like symptoms, getting a EEG scan showing how dysfunctional my brain is, and then read the literature on DP Disorder.
Here are a few things I find helpful:
I see a Therapist who focuses on authentic presence, who gently guides me away from DP state and my covering up of DP.
I got into some spiritual teaching about “being in the now” and that seemed to describe a lot of what I experiencing – when I am in DP I am not in the now. 2 important things I learnt from that:
• Learn to be the objective rather than critical observer
• When I realize I am not present (in DP state) I am for that moment present (not in DP)
I’m now sharing a house with a friend who also has DP Disorder.
• We do a lot of “owning” the behaviour – admitting we are “spaced out”
• Identifying ways we’ve covered up DP
• Identifying triggers for DP
• Playing with a small ball throwing it from one hand to the other for a few minutes
• Bouncing a large ball alternating left and right hands
• Alternate tapping of feet and or hands getting left and right brain to work – it seems to help pull me out
Treating DP like an addiction: I’m involved in 12 step programs and find that framework helpful in looking at DP/