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The campaign headlines that I always noticed online with their speculations, guesses, and accusations along with the amount of importance put on this election, made it overwhelming to try to follow. It did seem surreal to me that our country will have a new face and hopefully a new reputation--that other countries might like us again. That made me feel weird inside. Good, but weird. That somehow someone else can influence whether other people like me. To remember that I am part of a group--Americans.
I feel conflicted between my desire to avoid the media and my guilt for avoiding it, and that makes me feel withdrawn when I think about it. I also had a lot of guilt for not voting (I didn't get an absentee ballot in time), but confusion over how my vote would mean anything. I tend to get caught up in numbers though--I think I'm a little OCD. Like if they predict how many people were at a particular event, I wonder if they counted me; or how my extra body influenced the whole crowd. What would happen if it weren't there. Or how little steps can bring you to your destination. Anyway the idea of going to the polls did NOT seem real at all to me. Just seeing them looked funny.
The effect of the economy has had personal impact on my life--I just graduated with an expensive degree as an art teacher in MA, and no one is hiring an art teacher right now, so I'm teaching preschool... which is surreal in and of itself. Also my boyfriend lost his job, and therefor his Visa, and has to leave the country. I was actually enjoying having a relationship for once, but then I had to ask myself how serious it is and measure my feelings--and I can't do that. I feel like we're back in time in my history book during the depression, and I sometimes view it from my future self as an old woman talking about 'back in the day'. Sort of like a movie.
Thanks Kait. Interesting reaction. For me, the whole thing was stressful. I also find Obama fascinating because of his innate calmness. A very high serotonin level I suspect. As the years unfold it will be interesting to see if the outside world can get to know him better. All we really know is that it has been said that he smokes. Maybe he quit, but that says something about having at least some human frailty perhaps.