It's been 1 year since I take ritalin, I took much to take away the dr, it helped for dr a lot a first and depression, then I took too much and in the noight, and after months, it almost took away my life. it's been months since I tried to stop, now it's been 2 days since I took nothing because it made me feel agitated, almost bipolar, agressive, confused and it made me so confused about me, my identity, what I like, who I am. It made me in a focused bubble, I was isolated, I didn't have any feeling, no DR but no feeling, and I had physical issued because of it.
Now, thew told me I was going to feel very agitated and suicidal and depressed. Yes. I feel very depressed and I cry, because my dp/dr came back w/o ritalin. I am confused (because I started Paxil) and I know Paxil was the only one to calm me about me fear of being schizo. It's the only one who helped me me after MONTHS for depression, but not for dr. It puts me on a fog, I feel not there, not myself but at least I don't cry at any minute. But I am so sad that I am confused, that I have to continue the dp/dr battle.
I am tired, exhausted. I lost weight from ritalin, and now, I amin total depression. That is why I want to take the Paxil, because I need to rest, I need to feel more relax. Even klonopin doesn't help anymore. I think I am too nervous and depressed.
I search for another doctor, it's hard because I am ill and it's hard to explain my symptoms. Now I think I must me depressed and confused. But before, it wasn't the same thing.
It'sbeen 5 years since I search to feel in the world, grounded. Why when I go to a arena I feel like I am in a cartoon? Why when I shop I feel like I am on a dream? Why it's harder wih Paxil? Why no SSRI helped me?
Sorry, I need support, my bf doesn't understand, it's a struggle, and I am tired, so tired. I am so stupid to have taken Ritalin. And why no psychologist knows dp/dr. :(
Sorry, I need suuport.
I can relate to this because I have depression, dp and an anxiety disorder. it is a deadly mix. the best advice I can give you is to try and deal with the depression first, because the depression makes everything so much worse. I feel so much better now that I have the depression dealt with, now I can focus on slowly recovering from the anxiety disorder. I know how it feels to feel schizo and like your going insane. its confusing and you feel like your just losing your mind, I can't even describe it. I no longer have this though. try doing affirmations and relaxation techniques, and if theres anything in your past that you need to talk about/need help for, do that too. and remember theres other people who feel excatly the same as you.
What kind of help did you have for depression and anxierty? I take Paxil, 10 mh since 10 days, I feel worse (maybe it's the ritalin tapering too)... but I feel more dp/dr and confused... with ritalin, all was so clear, but it changed me so much I had to stop. I have to.... Now I am in a confusion state, I take paxil because all SSRi I tried, I couldn't deal with side efects at first (Effexor = LSD like for me, Zoloft, after weeks tried to upgrade to 50 and felt in a daze completely, Celexa and Lexapro never help nothing, Remeron = apnea, Prozac= agressivity, it's only Wellbutrin and Cymbalata that I didn't try. I am afraid you know.
It's been 5 years, and I thought I was going okya drugged with ritalin.... my God I never thought I was going to feel more derealized and depressed AFTER ritalin. Never take this ****...... never ever ever..... I lost my soul.... and now I am on Paxil, crying, no job because I am too depressed, on ritalin w/d, no money, and no hope... no energy... I am so afraid, so sad... I think I have to take this Paxil, because if not, I will be so depressed, I will want to make bad things to me... but it makes me more dp/dr.
I am very very hopeless, and I feel stupid, ritalin makes people stupid after.
Why I took that? why I took that? I feel so stupid.
Kat is right about dealing with the depression and anxiety first. It isn't clear whether you suffer primarily from DPD, or depression and anxiety with DPD as one of its symptoms. Either way, the medications as they are now, are the same for these conditions. But it's a matter of finding the right ones, usually in combination. The ritalin does not seem like a wise choice from what you describe. Some people have had success with Anafranil alone. One report showed very positive results with a combination of citalopram and clonazepam. Some people do better on tricyclic antidepressants than they do on SSRIs. For anxiety, nothing beats Xanax, but it does not build a "floor" beneath you as do the long-term meds. The right meds are there for you. It is unfortunate that you have to endure all the ups and downs and craziness during the process of finding the right one. But, you won't die, and you won't go crazy. Have your doctor look into some of the things mentioned above and give something new a try.
Thanks jeff and Kat. I feel very stupid to have taken ritalin. Now I am afraid of it's side effets for the long time. I am on day 0 w/o, and I know I will go through depression, it's like speed to me. It changed my personality and I felt no dr with it, but now it all comes down. So I saw my old psychiatrist, he put me on Paxil 10 mg. Sure it's been 2 weeks, I took this SSRI because it's the only one SSRI I can tolerate and I have some concerns for my heart right now bcause of Ritalin. I have cough too for 5 months. I took Paxil and now I stopped ritalin. I am at the worst. Unfortunately, Clonazepam doesn't help at all for me now, I am at 2 mg, when I take more, I sleep and cry. It doesn't help at all. I am very depressed. Sleep pills used to help but now that I knew what it was like to feel energetic and motivated, it doesn't help me, making me feel more confused in the day. So I don't take it in the day.
I didn't really try anafranil, like I've said for my heart, I am not sure. I tried Xanax and it put me on a bipolar happy mood followed by confusion and memory loss. At last, now I suffer really from memory loss and identity loss right now. And I have lost the feeling, pleasure to make things, eat, cook, even read!!! It's depression I think. I have no motivation, never felt like that before, never at this point.
So, I will endure this blure of Paxil but I such stupid to have taken this ritalin. I always search for ways to feel happy with this kind of med. It affected my dopamine, so now I am w/o dopamine, and very down and confused.
I was thinking of Wellbutrin, I don't know.... I will see a new psychiatrist in 12 days, I don't know, if I say all my symptoms mood changes with ritalin and my abuse of benzos, I am pretty sure she will not give me wellbutrin. I am pretty sure she will want to treat my depression and anxiety with old ways.
I will give you some news. My mood changes now and then, and I am no sociable. Does it means my socialbiliy will never goes back? I really have trouble to talk with b/f in the night, and I don't call friends.... ritalin did that. Can ti goes back?
These things will come back. You have tried many things but none will cause permanent changes or damage. It might be worth a try to clean our your system (which takes about two weeks), evaluate your feelings, and begin anew with something else. Hopefully the welbutrin will help!
Thanks for being there. I realized I am hooked of ritalin. I took 2 yesterday, suppoed to take nothing but when it comes to 4 PM' I so much want to feel happy like before I take a bit, ad a bit then more then I take what I have (2). With Paxil it makes things worse. I realize I become physically worse with Paxil + ritalin. More confused too. More pain. So I have no choice to stopp ritalin 0. I know I am suppoed to stop gradually, I can't for me, It's like coke, I can't take one line and feel okay in the night. It makes me more confused 2 hours after, sad and moody, and it's a no-no. I am not sure about Paxil though. Each morning I wake up and I feel so empty. So sad I want to die. I don't know if it's the ritalin causing that (think so!) of the Paxil worseing depression (not sure)..... but each night I sleep at 8 because I become no sociable at all (ritalin downward) and sad, and I can't sleep. And morning, I feel so sad it's horrible.
what makes me feel horrible is that I don't recognize myself, before I was ONLY Dp/Dr, now I am dp/dr, confused, no memory, very depressed and I am so moody, it's horrible. And I am so afraid to be schizo. Because I don't feel like interacting with people, and before sleep pills helped me talk and feel okay at the phone, now I just cry and bag and took too much sleep pills, so in the morning I wake up and vaguely remember what I did, like if I was drunk.
I really need not to take too much sleep pills, too much clonazepam (come back to 2,5 pills a day!) and maybe lowering Paxil a bit since I see a new psychiatrist.
Can you feel that I am nervous? I am.
Well, you are getting the worst effects of all these meds. You are on a roller coaster that has one wheel missing. Make an effort to get clean of them all before beginning on a single, clear regimen with a new psychiatrist, Can it be any worse on nothing than it is on so much? You can bear it.
3 days I will see my new psychiatrist. I really need her, because I feel more confused than ever. Nope, I didn't do again the real tapering of ritalin. I just take little, not much. Because tapering off alone is too hard. I feel so bizarre, I need help for that. I know I have to stop but stopping w/o help is like driving me crazy. I took less Paxil, thought, because 15 mh was driving me more dp/dr. And I plan to have a help for tapering off klonopin and sleep pills that I take since 5 years, because those weeks, I take too much ot those pills, and I sleep too much, and I feel VERY VERY confused in my head, it's gard to describe, it's like I am in a daze in my head, followed by anxiety. I feel alone inmy head, does it makes sense? I feel like I am not in security, like constantly drugged (and yes I am because I tak Paxil, klonopin, sleep pills and a bit of ritlin). When I don't take ritalin I end up suicidal, because I realized my perception had changed. But I saw one place that with ritalin, it can take months before neurotransmitters come back to normal and depression is inevitable.
I don't know how I will explain that to the new psychiatrist. I am afraid she will think I am schizo, but I don't hear voices or nothing. But HOW TO SAY TO A YOUNG PSY that I don't feel like myself, that I feel like since ritalin, I live another personality, I lost myself? I feel lost, and I don't know if she will understand...... I feel like when I don't take if (for a day(!)) I feel like I will die, and when I take it I am robot-like until the end of the day.
Anyways, I hate to take this DRUG. I began to hate klonopin too, and sleep pills, The mix makes me feel so confused. I feel like I am drugged, really. Argh. But nobody sees it, I drive, I make supper, I play with my kid, but inside I am hot and cold, I feel not me, and ritalin makes me feel ill physically... so I will stop but I NEED help.
If you can just reassure me again, I have a week-end to pass with b/f and I don't know if I will be able not to take any ritalin those 2 days.... I would like to, but I don't know.... about Paxil I take 7,5 mg. And I have since days this chest pain, I hate this!!!
Thanks Jeff and all.
p.s. does it makes sense when I write? Does I sound like a schizo? I mean, shixo people can't be normal with 2 ritaln, right? W it, I talk normal, it's feelings inside who aren't right (feelings, memory), and when I don't take it, it's confusion, depression, but no, no hallucinations, just plain panic.
Okay, I will breathe a bit, I have this chest pain again.
Your not schizo, if anything you sound like your having major anxiety. pills did not work for me at all, their only good if their temporary while doing cognitive behavioral therapy. I also recommend seeing a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist because psychologists will help you learn techniques to deal with the anxiety while psychiatrists only usually prescribe stuff. and remember don't give in to the anxious thoughts (thinking your schizo) schizos see things and completely believe their there and noone can convince them their not(lack of insight) and you have alot of insight into how your feeling. keep telling yourself that its the anxiety telling you that and I promise your gonna feel better. and like jeff said you would probably benefit from a cleanse (google the master cleanse) and look at it as an opportunity for change and to feel better because you are gonna get better :)
I saw the new psychiatrist. she told me I am plain anxious and I need to taper off ritalin with help. Then taper off klonopin and sleep pill. Then continue an AD because I am depressed, any AD, and continue and see a day care hospital near my home, with a psychologist, psychiatrist, coach, people that give you, force yourself to go out and do something, goals, etc. She sais dp is not fun but it's anxiety. And it's chronic (yeah). And that zyprexa at low dose or seroquel or risperdal can really help for dissociation. But for now, tapering off ritalin, for good, and going to a day care hospital.
I don't know if I have to cry or not. I am veryy frustrated and I hate to take Paxil because it puts me on a BIG bubble and I hate this. Why to take Paxil if it puts me on derealization? I hate that but what else to try???? I am :( So I have to take this ****. If not I don't know what AD I could take they all doesn't help for dp/dr. Really. But it's not a psychiatrist here who will understand that. And they wont give me anafranil not good at long term for the health. So I don't have any other choice......
She also told me I need a psychiatrist who is severe, not like my parents who are over protective, I need someone who is severe enough to force me to do things. And that anxiety comes from my overprotective parents, who never told me life was okay, my mother was really insercure. I have to be my own parent inside. And be mature, a parent, assuming my decisions too. All those things that I never done. Of my life.
PLEASE reassure me
I need to see a special doctor for the ritalin tapering, the same for cocaine.... even a organism can't help me, it seem you can't taper off like that, bang, I don't understand, they always said to me it is possible.... why they can't put me in a hospital and taper off ritalin? I take 3 - 4 10 mg pills.... it's not 80 mg!!!! What they will say me? That my brain is ****ed up?
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO panicked. SOOOOOOOO sad. Nothing reassures me. Noboy. Bu bf neither. My family neither. Doctors neither. WHY THEY GAVE ME ritalin? Why if I can go crazy?
Look, hang on, and hang in there. The new shrink is right about one thing, and that is you need to clear up this anxiety and panic. Withdrawal from a lot of things is tough. But you have to be honest with the shrink, with yourself, and with your friends here. I don't recall hearing about Coke earlier, only the ritalin problems. If you must, contact the shrink and insist of further help with these withdrawals. Even if you have to be hospitalized. YOU MUST GET CLEAN NOW. Do whatever is necessary to clean out your system and begin, in moderation, the antidepressant or Xanax or whatever it next. When you are clean, and clear, and calm, it becomes possible to really look at the best DPD- DR treatments. But for now, clean out your system, whatever it takes. People do know and understand about this crap, and they do care.
Jeff I emailed you.
I feel like a failure. I had a fight with my bf. It's all my fault. I had a overprotective family, and it's why I am like this. Again, it's my fault because I took too much for ritalin whatever and didn't take ad like everybody. BF is fed up, I can't talk to him about bubble, and psychiatrist DONT GET IT. They say it's anxiety,a symptom that I have to live with and I have to get rid of depression first. and taking AD, like Paxil, woh makes dp/dr much worse but they don't care, I have to gey rid of depression so Here it goes, I am alone, no support, I will return in my bubble of Paxil, alone, and it's all my fault, and in my head.
I am in the verge of letting it all go. Even my child. They don't get it. They don't understand that my mind changed since ritalin. And they can't reassure me it didn'y do damages. They can't do anything. And All I want to do is let go. I lost all my mind, my creativity, my strentgh, I tried to explain to plenty of doctors, I feel like a big victim, they don't get it, nobody understand this bubble, it's horrible and I can't like with it forever..... I can't!!!!!!!!! Argh
I just went to the store. Again this unreal feeling, I try not to take ritalin, to wake me up, because it's a bubble, paxil 10 mg is a buble, and I just can't. I can't live again in a surreal world, in a buble! Paxil never helped me, all seem so unreal to me, and I don't panic but I not in time, and I can't think with Paxil, I can't think, I go there and there, but I feel not there at all... I need someone who can give me the med I need, and restore the others, I HATE PAXIL and I don't want to up at 20, and I would just like not to have any in my system, and I just don't know if it's the Paxil whos makes me confused like that, or anxiety. I am way more confused than before..... very very dp/dr..... and unstable.
Why doctors in Quebec doesn't know dp/dr?
I will see a new psychologist specialised in dissociation. She is from ISSD.org. Since then I will lower Paxil at 7,5 mg I think, and taper off slowly ritalin (I see a doctor specialised in tapering ritalin the 30)....... Ritalin affected derealization a lot, unfortunately, but if I taper off I will see how my brain works and how to manade dp/dr with her....
Ouf. She also works with a psychiatrist specialized in dp/dr.... I saw him once, he suspected temporary lobe epilepsy.... So.
Be careful - psychiatrists love to prescribe drugs that should be used with caution. Olanzapine, seroquel and risperidone have not been used to treat DP/DR, although they may have anti-anxiety effects. Seroquel will turn you into a drooling zombie. I was on it for 2 years. Not fun. I'm currently on Olanzapine (Zyprexa) for an unrelated condition and there are severe weight gain issues with it. I'm talking 70 pounds of weight gain. Careful with antipsychotics. Deal with the anxiety first, then try attacking the DP
I was prescribe zyprexa 2,5 mg for anxiety... and taperinf off Klonopin. I didn't take it, because Lamictal makes me feel stupid, so I don't know. I have it on my purse, but it's for emergencies, and now when I am in public and have an attack, when I take klonopin, my mind answer bu spacing me out and feeling more confused, since ritalin use. So I don't know about zyprexa.
I have major depression caused by ritalin use. I taper off ritalin, and see my post above.
Ive been up late doing research on DPD all night and i know this is what im suffering from. I tried mushrooms about a year ago, and then 2 days later i had the first panic attack that i had ever had in my life. From that point on ive never felt the same and i meet all the criteria for DPD. I have also tried seroquel along with countless other drugs and you are very right about the zombie effect. I actually wanted to ask you about hypnotherapy. I was wondering if you have tried it and if it has helped with your DP. I have also read about a study done where naxolone or something like that has been given to 11 patients and 3 of them were totally healed and like 7 or something felt much better. just wanted to get your thoughts on all this my email is firstname.lastname@example.org thx so much