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I want to give up - Paxil is horrible, w/o ritalin it's horrible
I think I've become schizo. I take Paxil 15 mg since 3 weeks, and I fel more estranged to myself. Everything is bizarre, dp/dr is more, I cry less but make horrible panic attacks, dp/dr to the max, I have no feelings no feelings !!!!!!! I feel like I can't think. I feel slow, not there, not grounded, zombie-like. I don't talk because I have major DP. With ritalin it wasn't joy but I felt happy and grounded for 1=2 hours. I felt something for my child. sometimes I had the guts to think of work. Now I feel horrible. I cut myself and am more in a daze than ever. I lost memory. I am in a big bubble. I don't know what to do more. I can't concentrate on anything. I crave ritalin even if I stopped it since 3-4 days, because it's horrible with Paxil since november. I know my bf is feed up. I didn't retry Lamictal, last time I was ill. I don't know what to think.
I know my toxico will retry me on ritalin and lamictal, maybe hw wont understand that Paxil isn't for me. But if it's not Paxil, what can help me??? I am so unstable since Paxil I have no emotion, no memory. I am so zombie. With Ritalin alone I am too nervous. I don't know. I am scared. I want to die. I want to die.