Depersonalization Forum

Please use this forum to discuss information directly related to Depersonalization Disorder. We welcome you to share your own personal experiences with others as well as any treatment or study programs you may know about. We have been forced to restructure the Forum so we could have editing access as needed and be able to Archive older comments once they disappear.  Sorry for the temporary inconvenience, but now we will able to post older material for reference.

Depersonalization Forum
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I want to give up - Paxil is horrible, w/o ritalin it's horrible

I think I've become schizo. I take Paxil 15 mg since 3 weeks, and I fel more estranged to myself. Everything is bizarre, dp/dr is more, I cry less but make horrible panic attacks, dp/dr to the max, I have no feelings no feelings !!!!!!! I feel like I can't think. I feel slow, not there, not grounded, zombie-like. I don't talk because I have major DP. With ritalin it wasn't joy but I felt happy and grounded for 1=2 hours. I felt something for my child. sometimes I had the guts to think of work. Now I feel horrible. I cut myself and am more in a daze than ever. I lost memory. I am in a big bubble. I don't know what to do more. I can't concentrate on anything. I crave ritalin even if I stopped it since 3-4 days, because it's horrible with Paxil since november. I know my bf is feed up. I didn't retry Lamictal, last time I was ill. I don't know what to think.

I know my toxico will retry me on ritalin and lamictal, maybe hw wont understand that Paxil isn't for me. But if it's not Paxil, what can help me??? I am so unstable since Paxil I have no emotion, no memory. I am so zombie. With Ritalin alone I am too nervous. I don't know. I am scared. I want to die. I want to die.