I humbly ask for your help.
I have lived with depression my entire life.
I have a good Dr. And lots of prescriptions that keeps me chemically balanced and able to function on a daily basis.
I explained to you that I was selling my home of 25 years, & it's very hard, but I have kept in prayer, kept in the Word, kept in fellowship with you my family, kept my eyes on Jesus, kept pictures of my 2 grandchildren, 6-yr-old Noah & 4-yr-old Ava before me. The Lord helped me see that their little lives are my assignment right now. The impact on them through the Holy Spirit in me, and I sing songs of praise to Him continually while I'm working.
I've only had a few times that the tears began to come, but I immediately put my eyes on Jesus and was ok. . . Until just now.
Now my youngest daughter is - I don't know how to explain.
You know we've been praying for her (she thinks she is lesbian) that her heart would be turned back to the Lord, that her eyes be opened to the Truth, and so on.
When I get the money for the house (the 1st person who looked at it wanted it and is getting a loan to buy it, Praise the Lord!!!),
I am going to pay all of her college loans. I feel I need to do that because her dad promised her he would, and he didn't. But even with that, she finds herself in an apartment she can't afford, with a vehicle she can't afford, no money for food, and no money for gasoline. That tears my heart out & I have been sobbing uncontrollably - not able to think. I have a whole house to pack by Friday morning when the moving truck comes. I cannot continue to help her, and the thought of my child (I don't care how old they are, they are always your child) being in this, what, predicament? And no one to help her feels like it is killing me.
Please pray for me.
Please pray for her.
I don't know how I can make it thru this.
I don't know how to help her.
She just sent me a text that said something like, just forget it, I'll figure it out somehow, you don't have to keep bailing me out.
But I can't stand it that she is so in over her head that she can't buy food.
It breaks my heart.
I need your wisdom, your advice, and your prayers, please.
You have my prayers going up Patti!! Can I ask - does your daughter have a job?
Yes, NFJF, she also works as much over-time as she can.
I’ll pray for you Patti and the situation.
I'll pray for you and your family, Patti.
If you're going to help her, you should let her know that you're not bailing her out, but rather freely helping a loved family member in need, as family should be there for each other in anything. Remember to be gentle while approaching her in everything, as a son myself I know that it doesn't help at all to be yelled at or put pressure on.
But first and foremost, trust the Lord and ask Him again to get you all through this. He will be there for you and guide you.
Thank you with all of my heart, Annelis & NoFearJustFaith!
Yes, Brother John, I will heed your words of wisdom. Thank you for your advice & prayers!
Dear Patti, saying a prayer that the Holy Spirit will be upon and filling you today. God promised to pour out His Spirit upon all flesh in the latter days. I pray upon your daughter also, to know Jesus and to walk in His path for her. Father in heaven loves you. None of us can come until He draws us John 6:44
No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
Praying with you that the Father draw your daughter to Jesus and he will raise her up
Hi, Patti, I saw your other thread and wanted to respond. I did pray for you just now; there isn't any good advice I can offer you other than what you are already doing.
Your story is touching; since I don't have children and don't know the full extent of what that is like, I feel somewhat unqualified to dispense counsel on the matter. Nevertheless, I'd like to offer something from my limited perspective, having been through some lean years growing up.
Sometimes we do have to let others experience hard times so that they can discover for themselves that God is the only source of provision we can really count on. That's a lesson I had to learn through experience. She may need the same opportunity.
I'm sure your daughter knows you love her.
Praying for you and your daughter Patti; you have been going through a lot lately, praying dear Sis.
Thanks for answering Patti - it certainly doesn't sound like you are BAILING her out. Families are teams - I'm big on team because we all have our up times and we all have our down times - the teams helps level things out because when we're up we help those that are down.
About your depression - have you changed your medication lately or is this just from the added stress you've been dealing with (which is a LOT that you have been going through)
I wish I could give you a hug right now - can you feel my spritual hug?
Prayers coming your way Patti.
Patti,I was going to give you advice but I think prayers are the best....I will have you and your family in my prayers HUGS!
Joining the saints here in prayer. There no easy answers. Selling your home full of memories would impact anyone.
Website: Rapture In the Air Now
Patti, Any advice I could give would be coming from my perspective, and I don't know anything about what you're going through. I will pray for you, along with the rest here at RITAN, and pray God leads you to do the right thing for your daughter. I will also pray that she finds a relationship with Jesus.
Praying, Patti. God is good, He'll make a way. <3
Sorry Patti, but I don’t have children so I’m probably not the right person to give advice. But I must say that I wanted to give you the advice David R gave. If you continue to help financially, she could get used to it. She has to learn that she cannot have what she cannot pay for. So probably she should sell her flat and or car and get something cheaper.
God bless you with wisdom and peace, Patti.
Do you have anyone to help you pack?
Mom of 2
Dear Sister, thank you for bringing your needs to us for prayer and support. Our hearts are touched and joined with you -- we are one in the Spirit! praying for you, your daughter, grand-children. praying for the LORD's love, wisdom, and direction ... in Jesus' dear Name ~ amen.
Maranatha! please come quickly, Lord Jesus ... Luke 21:36
Patti dear Sis I'm so sorry for what you are going through. But try to hang on to God's word "all things work together for good to them that love the Lord."
Things will work out and God will see you through every trial.
David R gave good advise concerning your daughter. Trust her to the Lord and ask Him for peace in the situation.
Patti Day , I am so sorry about these things for you . I am praying for you now , Sis . The Lord is going to come through for you because you love Him and you lift up His Name faithfully .
God bless you with His Peace , His Comfort . ~~~ Lord , we give you thanks for the care you are bringing to our sister now and the answers .
will not cease to pray ...love in Christ The Lord , bon
My dear sister Patti,
I am very sorry about all the stress that you are going through with the move and your daughter.
I will keep you both in fervent prayers up to our Father in Heaven. The Lord already knows what your needs are and what your daughter is going through. Do not worry, leave all your burdens at the foot of the Cross and the Lord will answer you my dear sis. Everything will fall into place dear sis... God is in Control of every circumstance and need.
You are a wonderful and caring mother to your daughter please do not feel guilty about anything. I will be praying for your daughter to come back to Jesus who can meet every need under the sun.
God is all sufficient and he can perform and work things out for us when we think it cannot be possible.
Love you sis, you hang in there. The Lord will rescue you, lead and guide your steps according to his will.
Love and Hugs,
Patti Day, like Becka said, God DOES always offer a way and even though David R. said he is not a parent, he offers some wise counsel.
As a mother/parent, our children DO tug at our heart strings and often what is the best for them, and what we know is the best for them, isn't always the easiest to endure. I know that from experience. I often think it is harder on us as parents than it is on them.
I often equate those feelings with God as our Father, knowing how HE loves giving good things to His children, etc. I am sure it pains HIM deeply to see us struggle...yet HE knows, even when we go kicking and screaming, what is best for us.
When we are going through what you are dealing with now, we seldom see that or even realize it in that sense.
Know that you and your daughter are in my prayers, beloved.
Oh Sweet sister I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I will definitely be praying for you and for your sweet daughter. I know a little of what you are experiencing as I navigate these young adult years with my 19 year old who is struggling also. I understand the tough love thing and letting them figure things out but a mother's heart can only take so much. I pray that you will be strengthened as you also navigate these waters. Just as Jesus calmed the waters and storm for the disciples, He calms your storms today. He is the same today and he cannot lie so that means that He is wooing her and drawing her unto Him. I would not want to be a young adult in this time. The things that were so unacceptable just a few years ago, are now seen as almost normal. I have known quite a few young women in the past couple of years who have struggled with this and it is nothing more than then enemy confusing their young hearts. I have also struggled with depression in the past 7 years after 3 major losses in my family. i cry out to God and keep on going. Below are some thoughts from Max Lucado on overcoming. I saw him at Women of Faith last weekend. I hope it helps. Keep your chin up my friend. We will hold you up in prayer. Luv U!!!
Steps to overcoming
1) lay claim to the nearness of God (Hebrews 13:5) Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you
2) just because you have a thought you don't have to think it
3) cling to God's character
4) pray out your pain
5) lean on God's people
Patti, it truly hurts my heart for what you've been through and still going through dear sister. I can understand your urgency in wanting to know your daughter has to come back to the Lord very soon as we all are looking for Him to come soon. I'm praying for my family too. I will pray for your broken heart and your daughter's eyes to be opened completely and feel Jesus drawing her to Him. We love you Patti...
Dear Loved Ones,
No Fear Just Faith, annelis, Brother John, Regina, David R., RUA, rieom, Roses, rbmom, Becca, Mom of 2, 3rd Watch, RitaMay, bonnie, AW7, Shiloh, Wise Gal, Shirley, & VC,
Thank you all and Bless you all for your time, your comforting words of encouragement, your prayers, your concern, your love, and for being my wonderful family. I love all of you!
David R., Thank you so much for coming back to this thread after seeing the other thread and responding. Your advice was invaluable. I appreciate it very much!
NFJF, You are so right. Both of my girls were All-State Volleyball players in high school so they know about teamwork. Thank you for your insight on that because I had not even thought about that. That gives me another way of relating to her.
Regarding my medication, during the year I took care of my husband, I had to have a little more medication than usual plus a few adjustments along the way. As well as a good Dr. (Psychiatrist), I had a wonderful Christian therapist. It's very hard to watch your husband slowly die. After his death, I had to take even more medication to be able to keep from thinking about s****** all of the time. When I am out of balance like that, I can't think rationally. I can't pray, I can't read and understand what I'm reading (even my Bible). I forget to change my clothes, shower, eat, etc., sometimes I don't know where I am, I don't recognize anything around me, and so on. At that time it was as if I was a dead person walking around - just going through the motions of living with no "life" within me. It was awful. I am much better now, but still have to have several meds to be able to be a functional person.
And Yes, Dear NFJF, I could feel your spiritual hugs all day! : ) Thank you!!
Yes, annelis, you and David R. are absolutely right!!
Mom of 2, Thank you for your prayers of wisdom and peace for me. I did receive that peace today - all day - and even now. And yes, I have a dear friend helping me with everything that has to be done. : )
Dear 3rd Watch, Thank you for your prayers & support, and YES! Please come quickly, Lord Jesus!
RitaMay dear Sis - Thank you for the encouragement you gave me & the verse to hang onto! Thank you, too, for the lovely cross & the hugs!!
What a wonderful prayer Dear Bon - I soaked up every word like a sponge. Thank you!
Dear AngelWings, Sis,
I WILL NOT worry. I WILL leave ALL of my burdens at the foot of the Cross, I AGREE that our God is IN CONTROL of EVERY circumstance and need. Amen!
Thank you for your encouragement, love, & hugs! Both pics are beautiful and touched my heart. Thank you.
Yes, Ma'am! You are correct 100%. Thank you for taking the time to encourage and pray for me and for Allison. You are wonderful!
Dear Wise Gal,
It is so true: a mother's heart can only take so much! Things did calm down quickly today as you prayed. The Women of Faith
Conference must have been awesome! So glad you got to go! Thank you for Max Lucado's Steps to Overcoming. I WILL use them. I love you and am grateful for your words & prayers today!
Shirley, Thank you for your understanding, and yes, I do feel the urgency. I want her to be raptured with the rest of us. I don't want her to have to go through the tribulation alone. Thank you for your prayers and love. Love & Blessings to you! : )
Dear VC, Thank you for your support and your prayers! Bless you!!
Oh Patti, I know how it feels to be so depressed. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Do you belong to a church? I will definitely pray for you. You also need some others to pray with you, laying on hands. I feel that you have a spirit of despair around you. Sister, you need to put on your armour, claim your authority in Jesus and rebuke it. You must be having an affect on your daughter and grandbabies and the devil is trying to stop you. I am praying right now, in the name of Jesus, that any spirit of despair be removed from your presence. Amen! In my personal experience, my depression was spiritual in nature and only Jesus could set me free. Praying for your freedom in school.
I've not been on in a couple days, but wanted to say, I don't always post when I do, but do send up Prayers for all prayer requests, not really good at typing..
Hang in there, and advise that was given to me, Let go and let God! He cares more then we ever could even about our own children, I know its hard, but he will draw them back.... Again Prayers...
Oh Patti - I know well the emptiness of depression. Hang in there and I will keep praying and hugging.
Hey, Patti. That's my son'r girlfriend/fiance's?name - Allison. I hope she's my daughter-inlaw soon.
NFJF...Hang in there, dear sister. We'll all get through this together. No more pain, depression, fear, lonliness,etc. and we'll all be whole when we are with Jesus. Oh, Lord, call us up to our real home soon! Just think of the fun we will all have for eternity and adoring our Lord. We will be eager and it will be fun to worship HIM...not like the old church worship that we imagine...boring and repetative, but so ALIVE!
I don't always post a response to prayer requests but I do always send up prayers. Hope you get to feeling better and God said that He even provides for the sparrows, how much more would He provide for us? This is where faith comes in. God bless.
Patti, as a mother I can really relate to what your going through. it is very difficult for us not to feel for our children in whatever troubles they go through, our first instinct is to protect them. In looking back when I have gone through times where I didn't know what to do, and had cried out and prayed to the Lord for an answer, He always came through but it was always in His own timing, never once did He let me fall but worked it all out for good in the end, I may not have known at the time how He would do it and 100% of the time it wasn't the way I had prayed for His help. Just know this Patti, He will answer your prayers and will be there for you and will see you through it all. In agreement with all the prayers being lifted up to the Lord for you and your daughter.
As a prodigal daughter who has come home, I urge you to let her experience hardship. (If your grandchildren are hers that does make it difficult though. Help them with food and clothes)
This may sound mean, but it's not a punishing mean, it's a meaness that is ultimately kind. I know that it was my utter desperation that led me to seek God. I knew my parents loved me, but they didn't help me much. In fact, they were not like you at all. That has left me a little scarred, but I think ultimately it just shortened my journey to the Cross. I can't resent them for it as it gave me Jesus.
Maybe you could consider letting Allison hit the rock bottom you are fearful of her hitting. It could be how God is dealing with her to bend her knees. (I'm not speaking from any spiritual enlightenment here, I'm just speaking from what turned my hard, self-sufficient heart) I'm a mom of 5, my eldest is 22. Just two weeks ago she finally hit her rock bottom and came to the Lord. I had to repent of my unbelief, as I realized that how shocked I was, was a real reflection of how little I had really believed it would happen. But our Father can do ANYTHING. He can certainly save Allison if you step out of the way and just be there for spiritual direction and love.....that's what I did. The fact that I never helped my daughter much financially wasn't because I took that stance, but because I was too poor myself! It hurt me so much to watch her suffer at times. Deep pain at her anguish. But look what the Lord has done! He used it to bring her to Himself.
Not everyone responds to adversity and pressure though, so you must discern for your daughter yourself. It might be your grace and kindness that does it. That's very possible too! Only you can judge, led by the Holy Spirit. I just wanted to give my experience into the mix.
Love to you sis
cporter73, Thank you for taking time to share your advice with me. I was going to a Mega-Church in Tulsa, but I live around 45 min. away and just slowly stopped attending. I am moving Saturday so I will find a church when I get to my new home. This family (RITAN) is the ONLY family I have. Thank you so much for your advice & prayers!
Patti : )
Dear Gail, Thank you, too, for responding, encouraging, & praying for me & my daughter!
Patti : )
Thank you NFJF for the continued prayer and the HUGS!!
AMEN, Shiloh!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!
Bless you, Sis!
You are SO RIGHT Sparkles - Thank you!!
Dear Morningstar, Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I always learn so much from you! Thank you for your advice & your prayers!
Love & Blessings,
Patti : )
Dear Benjigirl, My grandchildren belong to my older daughter, not Allison. (It IS a blessing that Allison doesn't have children at this time!) I know you are exactly right because you've "Been there, Done that, and Probably have the T-shirt!) Lol!
I hope with everyone's prayers, I will find the courage to do what I haven't been able to do before according to your advice.
Oh - It is very hard, but her future for eternity is at stake. Quite a motivation for me to do what must be done.
Thank you for sharing ---
Love you, too, Sis!
Hi Patti, Thought I would check and see how you are. Glad you are doing better. Lived in Tulsa for a while when I was little.
Love & many blessings,
Mom of 2
Thank you for checking on me!
I appreciate that!
Love & Blessings,
Patti : )