Welcome!
Here ya go folks! The rest of these criptic messages that remain on this piece of stationary that I grabbed and wrote down one evening when I was bored out of my noggin'!!
26) Leave cigarettes be! The smell of the smoke alone should remind you of what hades is like anyways!
27) Pursueing a lost cause is just as bad as running into a stumblingblock!
28) Why don't cows BURP? Because trapped gas coming from all four stomachs would make them airborne-that's all we need is a floating cow problem to set the economy in a tailspin-I would not STEAK my life on a flying cow during a lull in the liveSTOCK MARKET--get it? Cows--Live-stock market- wall street is the stock market and with the cows it is a live stock--forget it--drink your milk!!
29) Having bad judgment doesn't mean you don't know what is right from wrong-it just means --you don't know why you are wrong with whatever you think you're right about!
30) Everytime you rub a shoulder pain an athlete over in Bombay, India gets a runner's knee problem from jogging three miles!
31) Still waiting for you to open that Bible and have you get some spiritual food in ya--your spirit must be starving by now!!
32) Look at yourself in the mirror-then break the glass with your shoe-then carefully put the pieces together like it were a jigsaw puzzle-when finished hold it up on the wall--what you will see is yourself looking back again in a repaired state-- it's not magic!! (Don't really do this one-it's just the thought that counts)!
33) If Jesus is really coming back then wehy are you starting to resemble that image you watch all the time on reality TV?!!
34) Roll over on a soft cushion and pretend you just ran over your friend-who is not hurt- but their leg is numb from the weight of your body!
35) If life is too complicated for you-then just read the owners' manual--The Bible---why are you such a slow learner?
36) If I am stopped on the street by a stranger-I tell them I left my WATCH at home----> so therefore I have "NO Time For YOU"!! At that point they change demeanor and then ask for my wallet-!!
37)All you out there who seem to feel like you have no PORPOISE in life---Leave WHALE enough alone--I know-a bad pun!!
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You have a goal in life --just don't keep scoring touchdowns for the other team-the devil squad!!
39) You can find God in the most strangest places--like maybe the Bible--hint! Hint!!
40) Have your toenails clipped but be sure to wear safety glasses for flying shards--if you see blood- then don't use graden hedge trimmers on the sensitive nails!
41) forgive your enemies and make ammends with those neighbors who irk you--it could be that one day they may set in as a juror over your set trial date!
42) Road rage is an obvious sign that this bad behavior has a negative household origin!
43) Cover your answers during a test and when it comes to true and false questions--go with the answer that is not your first choice!
44) Learn to fix something that is broken-then after it is repaired-look for the receipt and take it back for a refund!!
45) If you are always down on your luck then get back up off the ground and exchange it for some hope--instead of depending on chance for a change!
46) The door you open may be a room that is dark-but be creative and bust out a wall to make a window--also don't forget to install plumbing and wiring pluse insulation and caulking!
47) If you can't stand loud noise in the house next to you, then complain to the neighbor by using an amplified guitar as your solution!! Not really--a contentious spirit just stirs up hatred-show love and patience while serving the noise makers a supena for a court date!!
4 Let me hear those Bible pages turning--so far all I hear is silence-God is waiting!!
49) Use crazy glue to fix anything that is broken -and use patience on everything that is twisted and perverted!!
50) Pray without giving up--give gratitude in everything--and be glad always--if you are doing these three things--you will never be bored or be found not doing anything!
I came up with all these 50 things just on the spur of the moment to let you see how the comic mind works when it is put to the test--it will really show you how the mind can also be twisted into a pretzel shape and still come back and function quite normally!
I hope you enjoyed these 50 things!! If not no big deal--they will soon sink into oblivion--and then the bottom feeders will find nurishment from their gooey content!!
