I fear with as much as been going on I could be falling into a depression.

I think loosing Gracie is what helped push me into this. There's been a lot of problems but I think that helped do it. I mean I was given a shock when I found out my coision,a girl I used to talk with in junior high [she may have ended up as a bully but it still gave me a shock. It didn't help my cousion and her know each other] and possibly my friend is gay. That took time but I "adjusted" the best I could. Add to that I found out yesterday another girl I knew since elementary married another woman...

Than I find out from my parents that they think Gracie got out. I wasn't worried if I didn't see her for a few days because she's went and hid in the past and than all of a sudden she'd come out. I looked everywhere she could pretty much hide...she couldn't be found.

Last year I had this terrible fear that one of our cats could get out. I was terrified because I'm sick of cats getting poisoned. Betsy likes to posion them. My mom overheard Betsy's husband likes to do it with arrows and Howie...I know he's been warned by cops but you know how temptation is. I found out what he does to cats after he kills them. It is very gruesome. I still don't know to this day if he or Betsy got ahold of a cat that used to come around a year or two back,Opie. I named her that because she looked like Opie Taylor on Andy Griffith. Didn't know she was a girl at the time. The last memory I have of her is she was actting strangly. Not sure if she scratched me but she was very fussy. Very unusual,she didn't usually act like that. I never seen her after that.

Last year I was getting terrible flash backs and had an intense fear one of the cats would get out and get poisoned. I gave it to the Lord and started healing.

:sighs: This is a huge set back. I'm filled with fear. My fear of one of the cats getting out has become a reality.

Now I'm terrified my other fear will oneday become a reality. It didn't matter recently a knine vehicle was in front of Beth's place. They didn't turn her in. Welfare was there at the same time. The welfare lady said she is doing just fine.

Today mom heard the baby [9 months old] crying down the street. Mr. Greg got very upset with him and said "Shut up!" Who knows when his [or Beth's] anger will turn into ether a dead or very hurt baby...That scares me. And Beth knows Greg is abusive she don't do anything to stop him though. I'm scared she will ether flip out on one of those kids or the family. I now know Greg has anger issues,too. And I know she'd flip out if she knew she was told on. Please no one,don't tell,please don't tell. It'll only make things worse.

I've tried not thinking about it. But it's hard when new updates on abuse happen...like today.

And I'm frustrated because I'm so flawed with my nervous system and communication problems. I don't want to deny Jesus. And if one of the family starts talking loud and asks me if I believe He's God or some other question...I'm absolutely terrified I will deny Him. I don't want to deny my Lord for anything. I'm just so frustrated with a condition I can't control. You guys are so strong in Him. I'm not strong...

Anyways,I think I'm going into a depression because I'm on overload. I even noticed some symptoms of depression,not interested in things formly interested in. Also even little things are starting to get to me. I was so excited yesterday to see some rainbows [across the street and a nice one up the street]. The pictures were not good. I tried again today. There was a very big and absolutely beautiful one up the street and a nice one across the street. Pictures weren't usuable...I couldn't express how I was upset but I felt like I cried inside.

I don't know if I'm in a depression or starting to go into one. I just feel like crying because it's too much on me.

MRIC, first off, people need to report those lunatics and the one guy sounds like a Hanibal Lecter in progress or a Jeffrey Dahmer. He went from killing animals to killing people. Are there any other people whose cats have been missing and tortured too? I know it's hard to prove but people need to get together around there on this. I'd be hiding in the bushes waiting to snap photos of them poisoning cats.
Secondly, I know there is so much going on, honey. You need to keep in mind that it's important to take care of you, too. I'd be over there pounding on those people's doors asking if they saw my cat. And even if they denied it, they would at least know I am suspicious of them. Wish I could be there with you tonight because I would do it for you and trust me, I have ZERO tolerance for those kind of people.
I am praying she is safe and just wandering in safe places where someone will be kind and feed her healthy things.

And someone needs to report that guy who's telling a 9 month old baby to shut up. Babies cry! That's what they do and they need to be comforted. Is there any way you guys can move from there?

Shiloh,the cops are too scared of him. They won't do anything. I think once a sheriff [or it may have been a cop] backed away from him on some steps. They have called him "Mr. Greg". Greg is his first name. The kids have had to say "Mr. Greg" instead of just "Greg" before too. I remember once in the backyard I heard [I forget if it was the oldest boy or the girl who did it] atleast one of them call him "Mr. Greg". That's not normal. The cops are really scared of him. Once in the past he got a ceremonial key to the city [I thought it was a real key,mom told me it was like a trophy].

He's treated like a king. The cops won't do anything to him because he yelled at that poor child. :(

We couldn't possibly afford another home. We have to live here.

Sorry Shiloh,I didn't see your other post.

My mom called and asked a long time ago about the cats. She was told there has to be proof. You see Betsy posions them slowly. Puts out some food,they eat it but don't die right away. They walk away and her dirty deed has been done. They slowly die. like my poor black and white cat. She had no tounge left...That was I think when I was in junior high. The vet was about to cry. She couldn't drink any water for days;she had no tounge left. The vet told us she had a very small chance of living. And if she did she'd have to be hooked up to machines the rest of her life. We couldn't possibly pay for the machine to be hooked up to her...and it would have only made her miserable. She had to be put to sleep. :(

A lady's dalmation was poisoned and someone who used to be a detective. His dog was poisoned. She has thrown something like a hotdog over the fence so the dog eats it.

They can't know our cat is missing. If they did they'd look for her so they could purposely kill her. Betsy knows what Gracie looks like since she was in the window before.

As for Howie. He has killed posoums and cats. I was told he was complaining awhile back I think ether because he couldn't kill a posoum or because one wasn't around. The cops have warned him not to do it again but you know how temptation is.

Thank you for your prayers. :hugs:

hey my rock in Christ,

recently, you encouraged me what i am going through this. so i would like to encourage you, Dearly my rock in Christ, do not be discouraged or dismay in this world, and Be strong in Him and there is no place for us to hold on onto in this world as there is only one who we can hold on is Jesus Christ. and Jesus Christ will take care of your cat. He knows you very well and love you so much for this. I pray that your cat gracie will be brought back to you. as God will always kept his promises and he will send his angel to protect your cats. and youneed to put your burdens into God's hands and let God handle this. like for example, i had struggling with my job for last 2 weeks, i was not sure about my future with my job. i had keeping giving my job and my future to God as he can handle this and he is in control. and i kept push myself to trust in God no matter what. i kept surrender to God even though i was in discouraged and sad etc. but i had to push myself and trust in God and surrender to God daily. then recently, my boss offered me the full time that she offered me the other position to be take over with my current job so i took it. so now i am working full time. God so good to me and i know God will bring your cat back to you. Do not be dismay and discouraged and be strong in Him. there is no place to hold on into this world, there is a place to hold on is Jesus Christ. i am so thankful that i am able to hold on to Jesus through the storm.

Dear Jesus, i wanted to thank you for being our savior and thank you for being willing to come into the Earth and died on the Cross to forgive our sins through your blood. so i am here to pray for my sister in Christ, my rock in Christ, she is being concerned whereabout her gracie cat. Bring her cat back to her and comfort her and surrounded her with your love and your arms around her. as God as promised that he will send your angels to protect the animals. i thank you for this. i pray for the neighbour, he dont know what he is doing. forgive him for what he has done. i pray that the neighbour feel your presnce and realize that the animals are belong to God. i thank you for hearing our prayer in name of Jesus Christ. amen.

love in Christ
hugs in Christ

fm12

Thank you fm. :hugs: I know it's best to give it God but how do I do that when I'm paralyzed with fear? :(

hey my rock in christ

i realized that you have fear inside of you that hold you very tightly. i encourage you that to release the fear to God like rebuking the spirit of Fear in name of Jesus Christ as in the bible says, God didnt give you spirit of Fear but give you spirit of Love. in 2 timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. that is very powerful verse. we have to rebuke the spirit of fear to release and be fill with His power and his love into your life..

let pray together,

Dear Father in Heaven, thank you for being faithful to us when we tend to fail in the journey however you had been picking us up in this journey. Thank you for sending Jesus to the earth and died on the cross to forgive our sins. Thank you for my sister in Christ,my rock in Christ, and she is struggling with the spirit of fear in her life right now i rebuke the spirit of fear that my rock in Christ has it. release and leave her alone in name of Jesus Christ and i bind the spirit of the fear in name of Jesus Christ. and fill her with your love and your power up on her right now. i thank you for hearing our prayer in name of Jesus Christ. as your love will always defeat the spirit of fear. in name of Jesus Christ i pray that you will help her in this journey. i thank you for being faithful to her daily. i thank you for this. in name of Jesus Christ amen.

fm 12

Thank you fm. I know I need to trust Him...

I can open up a little,that helps. How can I be guaranteed those kids won't be beat to death [or some other way],Beth won't flip out on the family and that Betsy/her husband and Howie won't kill? If I can be guaranteed that none of that will happen that will relieve so much fear.

my rock in Christ,

all you have to trust in Him. all you can do is to trust Him and let God do his part that s what he wants you to do that. as he wanted you to give him your worries and your concerns that all he wanted from you.

Thank you fm. I want to do what is the best interest of everyone involved.

Despite I'm scared I need to trust Him. Please keep praying He helps me to hand these burdens to Him. I really need prayers to break through this fear...

I'm in agreement with fm12. I just get livid about these things. So livid that I hear that music in my head from that Clint Eastwood movie, "The Good The Bad and The Ugly" and start to squint. All I need is a thin cigar..er cigarette or whatever. If the cops are afraid of him, that's pretty bad. We had a guy like that who the cops were afraid of too, according to what they told us. I didn't take his tantrums and when he'd fly off the handle at his own little girl. They were renters and were renting a house 3 doors down from us. This guy was on crack or something and was extremely cruel to everyone and that includes children and animals. They ended up moving. You have any protection over there in case he goes nuts? I have Gracie in my prayers, sis.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my Stetson cowboy hat and holster.

i will continue pray for you that will break through this. as i believe that it will be break through for you and you already have victory through Jesus Christ. as Jesus Christ already overcome. praise the Lord for the answering prayer that God will bring you through this and will break through this fear. praise the Lord. yes there is victory in Jesus Christ. yes there is victory in name of Jesus Christ.

fm12

Shiloh,no human athority will protect us. And we can't stop him or her from abusing. If we go near those kids Beth will say one of us hurt the kids. And I'm sure if the cops are called Beth will say we're being racist against Mr. Greg. That's what happened before. Last year the oldest boy [he's 6 now] was messing with his grandpa's [my uncle] screen. The cops were called and Beth or Mr. Greg or one of them turned it around and claimed it was rasism. The cops didn't help my uncle despite it was his screen that got messed with. Beth loves to yell "racism" anytime she gets a chance to.

Honestly,I'm tired of it. That is just something else she uses to start trouble. She needs to look at herself in the mirror because she calls them the "n" word and wishes them dead and a bunch of other stuff. I'm tired of how much she has yelled rasism. I don't understand why people just can't get a long. It doesn't matter if you are black,white,asian,mexican or whatever. I don't care that her kids are mixed. They need help and to get to people who care about them. Why can't people just get along? Skin is just a covering. What matters is if a person knows Christ,not their color.

Ok,I know this is a difficult subject. I just had to get that off my chest.

That's what scares me that he or Beth will flip out one of these days...One fear has already come true and now I'm teriffied that it's just a matter of time until the other fear that one of them will flip out. Thanks for your prayers. And fm thanks for praying.

Praying for you!

Thank you Lisa.

An update. The first time mom and I went down the ally,didn't see her. The 2nd time dad,mom and I were in the ally. I went a ways up. I seen a flash of fur run by. It looked like her color but it went by so fast into the tall bushes I couldn't tell. I asked and mom said and waited while I got a bag of cat food [Gracie loves hearing that sound]. No cat came out. There was someone who was nice and brought the stray cats in theold rundown garage some hotdogs. The garage was like closed off but atleast I know it's a hiding place for them. We didn't know that until the lady with the hotdogs told us stray cats like to hide in there. Atleast she's nice and doesn't want to kill them. That's nice for a change.

I think that's an encouraging sign! I know it would make me feel better if I were in your place.
If the Lord takes care of the kitty-cats, how much more will he take care of the children? You have to keep praying like you have been, remember; you have fm12, Shiloh, me, Lisaleenie, and many others I'm sure praying with you. Our prayers are showing fruit! Aren't your parents getting better little-by-little? That's another good sign!

Ok, now for the tough part, I understand that others might not agree with me, and I hope they speak up, but we need to keep YOU safe. fm12 & Shiloh both gave you some very good advice. You are not in a place (and God knows this!) to go confront ANY of these people over ANYTHING. As I said before, stay in prayer for the protection of the children, thank God for His promise to give His angels charge over them, and you, and your family, to accompany, protect, preserve, and defend you all. Thank Him out loud that you are covered by the blood of Jesus, and thank Him that HIS WORD SAYS; no weapon formed against you may prosper. Thank Him in Jesus' name that He watches over HIS WORD TO PERFORM IT.

What I hear you say is that it is not safe for you or your mom or dad to make any of these people mad. So, after you pray your other prayers, tell God that you're willing to help & would He please show you some things you can do in each situation. He loves you, and He doesn't want YOU in any dangerous situation either, ok? But he might point out someone for you to talk to about it - someone in authority who isn't afraid of "Mr. Greg". Do you know how to dial a number so that YOUR number WON'T SHOW ON THE OTHER PERSONS PHONE? if you have a cell phone and don't know how - find out how, because you can make ANONYMOUS calls to The Department of Human Services, Child Protective Services, etc. You don't have to give your name no matter what they tell you, and they won't have your number. I feel like that is safest for you. You don't have to tell them your address, or where you go to school, or that you live in the neighborhood, or your parents names, you are just a voice to them. BUT, you can tell them what you've witnessed, and that if anything happens to those children, it's on their hands. You've done all you possibly could at that point. You'll have to call many times (Do you remember the saying about the squeaky wheel gets the grease?) Well, you're going to be "The Squeaky Wheel". But stay in prayer continually over this and follow the Lord's leading IN EVERYTHING!! (What to do, when to call. . . ) Get the idea?
If you should happen to get scared/afraid, say, "I plead the Blood of Jesus!" over and over until your anxiety eases.

**If anyone disagrees with my advice, TELL HER, and GIVE HER OTHER OPTIONS!! I was a classroom teacher, I know how most of these departments work, and I know what you have to do to get results, unfortunately, when you do things the way you are supposed to - nothing gets done. You have to work the system. But before you "work the system" Sweet Sis, PRAY and let God show you if that's what you're supposed to do - got it?
I love you My Dear!
Patti

All yeah,I didn't say it on this post. Praise Jesus! Gracie is back. I had to change the litter pan a little while ago. When I started to open the door to come back in she came running and tried to get outside. I had to ask dad to come and get her. Atleast we know now to really keep an eye on her while opening the door.

Amen,Patti,prayers do show fruitage. And yes the Holy Spirit is working on my parents,thankfully.

We don't even have to confront them. Her sister's ex boyfriend called welfare on her. I got accused of doing something bad to her kids,mom got a cussing,Beth's boyfriend Nick got a cussing,pretty much we all got it. I don't know if it was because welfare was called on her,because Zimmerman won the trial [she was very upset about that and that gave her an excuse to set off the anger she already has] or a combnation of both. I know this because my uncle has told us stuff that happens [that's how I found out she threatened to split my head open a year or two back. She said she would do it if she found out my mom called welfare on her].

Years back she came up from down the street screaming and cussing. She falsly accused people from my mom to Betsy to Pee Wee Herman [my mom has liked movies he has done and Beth for some reason decided to throw him into the false accusiations].

Now I don't know if she's just going to A)Run her mouth like recently with her sister's ex boyfriend [it was ether her ex boyfriend or current,not sure now that I think about it but I know it was one of her boyfriends] called welfare on her B)Come up here and start trouble C)hurt someone. My mom even thinks that Beth is going to one day snap.

Sister,people have tried to call welfare on her. It hasn't worked for 8 years. And even if it was anonymous she'd still probably blame my parents,me or my uncle.

I do have hope though. My one uncle [not the same uncle] stopped by yesterday and told my mom that the knine was in front of Beth's house. The guy was writing stuff down. So,I hope she gets busted on drugs she does. Than hopefully the kids will be taken from her.

And Patti thank you. Prayer is the best way to go.