I really need your prayers. Forgive me for asking so much. And forgive me for asking for myself this time...It's just there's so much pain bottled up right now I feel like if I don't say something I feel like I will explode.

I just feel like a burden on everyone. I can't seem to contribute like other people. Ever since that day seeing Brian again...Some how a discussion about driving came up. I told him I can't even ride a bike because of the muscles in my legs. They stiffen [the stiffness would make it too hard to push on the pedals and be able to turn and stuff] and I'd risk riding out in front of a car. :sighs: He kept wanting to know about me getting out of here and going places. He doesn't understand the kind of stress that'd put me under...And than there was when he eventually came over to sit across from me. He told me that I kept looking in another direction. He wanted me to look him in the eyes. He kept telling me to look him in the eyes. I tried telling him I didn't want to. I'm greatful his sister came by soon and picked him up...He doesn't understand what that does to me.

Well, after that I started to eventually realize how many issues I have. Society expects me to measure up and give what I just can't give. That's why I just feel like a burden...

I want to go to bed soon and just cry. I want to be held by Jesus so much and for all of this pain to just go away. I want to And forgive me everyone. I hope reading that wasn't burdensome.

I will pray for you MRIC, I know you have been going through a lot lately. For you my lil Sis

Email: info@dianemcfarlane.ca

It's never too much to ask for prayers for the Lord's help. You contribute already just by posting here, I've read many of your posts and I know. I think everyone is an important part of this family, even when I was just stalking you all I could tell how great you all get along. So, hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for prayers when you need them. I will pray for you as well.

May the Lord bless you and rescue you from your troubles.

AWWWW, MRIC, You will be in my prayers little sis. What's wrong? Do you often get leg cramps? Who's Brian? I must have missed something maybe on another thread but I promise to keep you in my prayers.

RUA, your avatar is absolutely adorable!

Brian likes you MyRockIsChrist, is he a christian?

He is your best chance at evangelizing; because he might stay long enough and say on your porch or backyard or in the home, so that your Mom can be there for you to feel secure.

And you can tell him about Jesus:

1 - If he listens, he can be saved, and he might well listen to you explaining, in humility your shortcomings as to the world.

2 - If he doesn't listen; he will go away and not trouble you...




Be praying for you; don't despair, sweet little sister. Yeshua is at the door.

Howalluwah!

Halleluyah!

Daniel

Thank you RUA,BrotherJohn,Shiloh and Daniel. Thank you all for caring...and for your prayers.

Shiloh,alot is wrong. There's so much pain [more than just physical pain] right now it's hard to explain everything. I like ache all of the time. Sometimes it's my back,sometimes my legs,ect...As for my legs I have bad circulation. That why I can't ever be in one position for too long. I can't even kneel while praying too much because my legs will end up feeling like they will go numb. That's why I also get cold feet easily because I have bad circulation. I don't think I brought up about Brain before. He's someone I knew since we were little kids. In junior high he moved. When I was in 10th grade [he in 11th] he moved back and went to my old high school.

Daniel. I have my doubts. He has said he's a Christian but what he has told me a few years when we were in high school,I have doubts...I think I asked him about the Holy Spirit and I don't know if he outright called Him an "active force" but He deffently didn't call him God. I don't think He believes the Holy Spirit is God,part of the Trinity. Also I think he mentioned something about the Bible ether being corupted or can't trust all of it. I forget how he put it but you get the point.

I don't know if he likes me. He did want to take me out on my first date last year [that was around the last time I saw him until a few days ago]. I'm glad we didn't get a chance to date. That would have been too weird. I can accept him as a friend but never a boyfriend. He went someplace else and I don't know when I will see him again. I gave him my FB name but he hasn't friended me yet. Not sure if he forgot or lost the paper I wrote the name on or what. It'd be easier to talk on FB [if he ever friends me and somehow we end up talking about the truth]. He's the kind that gets forceful in his voice when you discuss something he doesn't agree with.

I want to go take a nap in a little bit. I have a really conjested nose and really don't feel well. I just wish I could see Jesus and to be held...

All yeah I remember Brian mentioned a long time ago that he believed Jesus didn't exist and live in Heaven before His birth. Please pray for him to find the truth..

I have absolutely no right to complain about being sick. I remember mom telling me Beth yelled at her sister because she couldn't watch her kids. Her sister has pnamonia. Her health is even at greater risk since she's overweight and has asmtha and smokes. Beth made her sister cry according to my mom. This isn't the first time she has done something cruel to her sister. Beth and her friend let "Rachel",Beth's sister have some alcohol for her birthday last Feb. They filmed her as she was crawling around on the floor drunk. "Rachel" is slow. When she was in school she was in special ed. So,Beth knows it's easy to take advantage of her sister.

As I look at things my problems aren't nearly as bad as some peoples.

I really would love for the problems I have [like the ones Brian ended up finding out about] to glorify God. Do you think they will someday? That and to be able to help others someday.

When reading your post I began to pray for you. I immediately thought of the woman with the issue of blood from Matthew 9. I have pasted some commentary below. What must she have felt like on the inside let alone her emotional state after being considered an outcast for these 12 years. This commentary gives and has given me much comfort over the years that although I may see myself a certain way due to my circumstances, Jesus only sees my heart that is for him. I hope you are blessed and given rest in your spirit tonight.

WOMAN WITH ISSUE OF BLOOD

The Woman Who Was Healed by a Touch

Matthew 9:20-22; Mark 5:25-34; Luke 8:43-48

This sick, anonymous woman must have been emaciated after a hemorrhage lasting for twelve years, which rendered her legally unclean. She could not throw herself, therefore, at the feet of Christ and state her complaint. Her modesty, humility, uncleanness and pressure of the crowd made close contact well-nigh impossible, hence her eagerness to touch in some unnoticed way the hem of His garment. Who was this woman of faith? The primitive church, feeling she was entitled to a name, called her Veronica, who lived in Caesarea Philippi, but in the gospels she is enrolled in the list of anonymous female divines. There are several aspects of her cure worthy of note—

She Was Cured After Many Failures

What this poor woman really endured at the hands of the medical men of the time is left to the imagination. What a touch of reality is given to her story by the knowledge that she had suffered many things of many physicians and was no better but rather “grew worse.” Where men failed, Christ succeeded. Down the ages men and women which no agency could reclaim have been restored by Christ. What is not possible with men is blessedly possible with God. Her disease was of long standing yet she was swiftly healed, for as soon as she touched the hem of His garment, “straight-way the fountain of her blood was dried up.” If a person suffers for a while from a complaint and seeks no medical advice, but in the end goes to the doctor, he invariably says, “You should have come to me sooner.” But it is the glory of Christ that He can heal those who come late to Him.

She Was Cured With the Utmost Rapidity

Mark’s favorite word, “straightway,” which he uses 27 times in his gospel, is in most cases related to Christ’s rapid cures. How swift He was in His relief for the suffering! As at creation, so in His miracles of healing, “He spake and it was done.” Spiritual parallels of His instantaneous power can be seen in the conversions of Matthew, Paul and the dying thief. Many of us, too, can testify to the fact that He can transform character in a moment of time. The term Jesus used in addressing the nameless sufferer suggests that she was still young, though wasted and faded by her malady which made her look older than she was. But the nature of her disease and the age of the one afflicted made no difference to Him in healing the sick and saving the lost. As Jesus passed by the withered fingers of the woman brushed the border of Christ’s sacred dress, and all at once her thin body felt the painless health of her girlhood return. A strength she had not known for 12 years renewed her being, and she knew that Christ had made her whole.

She Acknowledged Receipt of the Benefit Bestowed

As soon as the woman touched Christ’s garment, He felt that “virtue had gone out of Him,” and turned about and said, “Who touched me?” The disciples mildly rebuked Jesus by saying, “Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?” Perhaps her touch had been unnoticed by the eyes of those around, and she must have been one of many who touched the Master that day as he proceeded on His errand of love, but a touch of faith could not be hidden from Him. Quickly the Physician saw the patient, and trembling with self-consciousness but too glad and grateful to falter, she confessed to her touch of His robe. “She told him all the truth.” She experienced that open confession is good for the soul. What a glow of gratitude her countenance must have had, as she publicly stated that her burden for twelve years had rolled away!

She Was Commended for Her Faith

The crowd who listened to her confession also heard the Saviour’s benediction, “Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.” As a true daughter of Abraham (Luke 13:16), her faith is crowned by the Master. Hers was not faith without a touch, or a touch without faith. Believing, she appropriated and was healed. “Daughter,” was an endearing term for Jesus to use. Some tender insight of His own must have prompted Him to use it. As Theron Brown puts it so beautifully—

The restored sufferer would never forget the friendly benignity that assailed her with one indulgent epithet or the sympathy in that endearing term by which the Messiah of Israel recognized her as His own.... She cherished her debt to the Man of Galilee.

She Has a Place in Legend

It is said that this woman who was healed of her plague walked with Jesus as He went to His cross, and that seeing His blood and sweat, she drew out her handkerchief and wiped His brow. Later on, as she reverently caressed the piece of linen, she found the image of the blood-stained face of Jesus imprinted on it. Face cloths for the Roman catacombs alleged to hold the impress of His features were called Veronicas. About a.d. 320, Eusebius, Bishop of Caesarea and a dependable historian records that when he visited Caesarea Philippi, he heard that the woman healed of her issue of blood out of gratitude for her cure had erected two brazen figures at the gate of her house, one representing a woman bending on her knee in supplication—the other, fashioned in the likeness of Jesus, holding out His hand to help her. The figure had a double cloak of brass. Eusebius adds this explicit statement as to these figures, “They were in existence even in our day and we saw them with our own eyes when we stayed in the city.” The well-known Sankey gospel hymn recalls and applies the story of the nameless woman whom Jesus healed—

She only touched the hem of His garment,

As to His side she stole,

Amid the crowd that gathered around Him,

And straightway she was whole.

It is encouraging to know that His saving power this very hour can give new life to all who by faith take hold of His skirt (Zechariah 8:23).

Email: Gwise032@yahoo.com

Well, I love the responses on here. Mine probably sounds harsh over typing but PLEASE don't take it that way, sis. I just know this isn't going to come out in typing with the tone of voice I'm thinking it in or the sentiment.
Can't you lay down and pray? The Lord will hear your prayers that way too. You have to take care of you! If we don't do that, then we become nothing more than worn out vessels. It sound to me as though you need some very good rest and we aren't of any use for the Lord if we don't take care of ourselves and always worry about tending to everyone else constantly. Sweet baby sis, you need to be refreshed and have time for you to mend. The Lord doesn't push us beyond our capabilities. HE knows our limitations. I think often that it's us who ignore resting in Him. He will never give us anything we can't handle. Maybe I'm just old enough to realize that I am of no use if I don't rest and stop worrying about everything with everyone else. That's not being selfish. It's renewing your stregnth in HIM and it sounds like you take a lot upon your shoulders. I know that. I used to be you and then went into a complete useless mode for awhile because I couldn't deal with it all. I believe the Lord brought me to that breaking point.
If you can't kneel when you pray, so what?! It's your heart that the Lord looks at and not what position you're in when you pray.

Wise words, Shiloh. Pray with us, MyRockIsChrist, in any way that you are able to. Help us make our prayers stronger. Sometimes I myself just lay in bed late at night with the window open and looking at the sky and just wondering and speaking what's on my mind to Him, and I'm sure He hears it just as He does if I'm kneeling or even standing in the middle of the day. While kneeling can be a sign of deep respect and recognition for the authority of the Lord, I don't think it's what makes a prayer effective. Our love for the Lord is.

May the Lord bless you.

Wise Gal. Thank you. I didn't know that she was the one who wept Jesus while going to the cross. Thanks for sharing about her.

Shiloh,actually that's the best time I can pray. when I'm laying on my bed covered up in a dark room. Dear sister,I know I have a problem with not sleeping like I should. You've confirmed what He's been trying to tell me. I remember awhile back I feel like He was letting me know that I'm too much like Martha and not like Mary. I need prayers because I've had a problem with my sleepever since I was a little kid. Thank you for the pic. The cat looks like Ms. Nibby. Infact he [yes he was a boy,I didn't know that at the time] was even playing with a toy of a color like that on the back of the couch. It's been 10 years last March 12th since he went to be with Jesus. It'll be nice to see him healthy again. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Thank you BrotherJohn. I can't look out my window at the sky since there's a wall outside right across from my window but I love talking to Him when it rains!

Don't apologize for asking for prayer little sister that's what we are here for.
We are your family we love you, when you hurt we hurt. I pray for your healing inside and out Jesus paid for it all and by His stripes you are healed. Let Him hold you in his arms and you will never be afraid again.

Thank you RM.

I will have you in my prayers....have you seen a Doctor for your numbness?It might be something you may need to get checked out.Just wanted to tell you that its okay to reach out for prayer.Hugs to you

Roses

Thank you RosesinSept. Doctors are too expensive though.

And if I go and tell them I'm sick but can't afford it they'll still send a bill we can't afford. Besides,I learned from the past [I went and got checked in 8th grade at the hospital]that if there isn't enough money they won't really help. I got checked because of chest pains. They couldn't find anything wrong. I think the backpack was blamed. Well, in 11th grade dad took me to a little clinic [where two of the nurses argued with each other over the EKG or whatever it's called]. They found nothing wrong. He had to pay in cash. The backpack was blamed and drinking pop. Well,I've been out of school over two years,May 2011 and I don't wear heavy backpacks anymore [I don't wear any backpacks anymore]. Also I very rarely ever drink any kind of pop anymore. With me it's 99% of the time ether juice or water. I still get chest pains. They didn't help than and if I go we will get billed even if we tell them we can't afford it.

MRIC, How old are you, honey? You sound very young, about 19 or 20? Most places have facilities like free clinics. Also, some big hospitals will add you free of charge because they get reimbursed by the government. For example, where I live, some of the hospitals around where I live are connected with Cleveland Clinic and have a thing called H-Cap, where they will treat and even hospital stays are free. Do you have any free clinics aroun there where you live?

I'm 21. The only free clinic says you have to have a medical card. I don't have one.