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So close, yet to far...

I've been growing closer to God a lot recently. He's been exposing a lot of the self-centered motives in my heart (gently) and revealing so much of his truth, I've felt his peace and wanted nothing more than Him for a while. I felt it was the perfect state of mind to be in before the rapture.

Then I fell off the wagon on Tuesday, and now I feel like I don't belong in the world or with God. I know salvation is a work of God and our relationship with Him is another matter, but I willfully sinned and didn't turn back when I knew I should. I have always been very aware of where I stand with people, and now I feel apart from God, and I feel like something is holing me back. It's like I opened a door by sinning willfully, and even though I've repented, it all feels kind of lame since I believe He's coming back soon, maybe even during RH, and I feel like I've wasted my last hours. I just want to feel close to God again, but I threw that away when I willfully turned away from Him. I wish I knew how to get back to the place I was before, immediately!

Re: So close, yet to far...


Sin and failure has that effect. Repent and cry out unto the Lord, receive his shed blood, and then tell the devil to take a hike. Faith will then bring your emotions in line with God's love and truth.

Love & blessings...Tender Reed

Re: So close, yet to far...

Re: So close, yet to far...

Ring Bearer, great to see you posting again. I believe we all feel the way you do when we fall away, willfully or not. The answer lies in our heart. Our motives. The Lord knows we, in our hearts don't want to sin. Yet we do it anyway. Our sin nature takes hold of us and then the enemy is right there to condemn us, just as he goes before the throne of God and accuses the brethren. None of us would be human if we didn't feel that way or if we thought ourselves too lofty to having sin. Introduce me to one of THOSE people who have their head in the clouds, so to speak.
What comes to mind is the Prodigal Son. That is one of my favorite parables in the Bible. In a sense, aren't we all like him? God knows the frustration you feel, brother. You are right. It does not effect our salvation but it does disrupt our intimacy or relationship with Him....on our part, but not on His. He promised never to leave or forsake us and that includes in times of weakness. Trust that HE knows your heart and your repentance. Remember, HE is long suffering and loves you. God Bless you, beloved. We are all here for fellowship and to encourage one another in HIM.

Re: So close, yet to far...

Been there done that, felt that way too. But then I remember that all of my sins are washed away. Even the willful sins. Past, Present, and Future. Remember that it's His faithfulness that saved us and keeps us saved. Not our own.

Lamentations 3:22-23

"He has always been faithful to me; even when I was faithless, He never wavered. My life is testimony to His great mercy & love."

Re: So close, yet to far...

There isn't a one of us that hasn't done things we shouldn't have, often knowing it was not right at the time we did it. I am most definitely included in that list. All you can do is to take it to God and confess your disobedience, believing that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all unrighteousness. It's all you can do, but it's also all anyone can do, for we are weak in these bodies of flesh. Continue to press on in the faith, for the Lord knew you would sin from eternity and yet died for you. He will not forsake you, now or forever.

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