Brother & Sisters,

I need to get this of my chest. Even though I am forgiven now by my loving father, I feel you should know. A part of my cleansing liberation process.

If you do not want to talk to me after reading this, I understand.

Only a few of my closet family members know this story.

As you my brothers and sisters are aware, I have had some trials in my life. I grew up in a home and was ridiculed for having a tender heart, my brother was the mans man.
I was always told I would end up gay.

At the age of 7 I was sexually abused by a man whom was a family friend.

As you know, years later I was saved, married, kids etc. I always struggled with sexual sins in those times, pornography etc. Then my life spiralled out of control.
I ended up in hospital because of trying to cut away what made me a man through shame, guilt, self hatred.

I lost my marriage, children etc

In the times afterwards when I was living by myself, yes I fell into a gay relationship. (I have said it now!!!). This lasted approx 1 month.

During this time, I felt the Lord telling me constantly that this is wrong. I ended it all.
I then lived by myself for another year in solitude. Not long after the relationship, through guilt I spiralled again and did the most damage to my body through self abuse. I see these scars everyday.

I HATED MYSELF. I felt dirty, perverted, un worthy.

I am a man, I have a tender heart but I am a man. I don’t talk like a girl nor try to act like one. But yes I fell in the most disgusting way in my life imaginable to me.

Today, well you all know me. I am Paul who has seen trials, but depends on the Lords love and grace. For I cannot stand there and claim that I am pure: I have driven nails into my Lords cross and only deserve judgement. Instead I receive his love.

I knew this was wrong, and wrong it was. But a lot of these people may be just like I was, deceived. I don’t know, I don’t judge them for I was there. I only look to my Lord these days.

Many times over the years, as this was nearly 10 years ago, I have cried buckets of tears. I am forgiven, I keep reminding myself, but you can never get rid of a memory.



These days I am the most lest sexual person you would ever meet. The heart is my love for that is where the person is.

I have said it now. I have no secrets left to tell.

If I have offended you, then I understand if you do not want to talk to me. But I love you all.

In his transforming LOVE-
The worst of sinners / Paul

I am so glad I shared with you all.
But now I feel dirty once again

Paul, I still love you and don't think any different!! We are all sinners. I would hate to be standing next to anybody on judgment day apart from Christ!

We all have a choice to follow Christ and to receive his forgiveness. I do not think this sin is as cut and dried as others on that other post do.

I believe it can be biological, psychological or just plain old sin.

I have always had gay friends that I loved dearly. In fact the first time I witnessed to a friend about Jesus, the person helping me to witness was actually gay and I did not know this.

I believe a lot of these people could be saved already and struggling with this difficult sin. I believe that my daughter and her partner are! I also believe they are miserable in some ways and would be truly delivered if they just would turn away from this and embrace Christ and trust him to deliver them from the bondage.

I don't want to go into my past sin life because it would probably change the G rating on this forum!!

Love you in Christ Brother Paul

PS I am glad you have the courage to share your story because there could be some people that truly can be ministered to by hearing it.

Also, the Lord did not come to save the self righteous he came to seek and save the lost. Jesus even asked God to forgive those that were crucifying Him.

I am thankful that our Savior makes us clean. Paul, in Christ you are white as snow!!

Oh my goodness, Paul, if only all hearts were tender like yours. The Love of Christ is all through you, with a humility only Jesus could bestow.

What a blessing you are . . your repentant heart shares the peace of God upon a forgiven and repentant sinner, which we all here.

Bless you in the Spirit's abiding Grace, as Jesus loves to give each and every soul desiring God His Spirit.

You are a dear brother in the Lord. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony in the Spirit's leading. I am so glad you are our brother, and thankful that you belong here as Family.

Paul,

I think the majority of the people including
myself have been exposed to things that were
x rated or abused in the same manner.

My father kept alot of porno type material
around, did't care who he would slap on the
bottom etc.

Today I still fight off things that come into
my mind that is pure garbage. I have good
days and bad. And I can't wait till I am home
safe at last.

For me, I have read the pros and cons of weather
or not the rapture is some sort of idol for some.

If escaping this sin sick world makes the rapture
an idol then I am guilty. Even death does not
look to bad from here...I can take either or.
Just get me out of here.

The recent postings about world events make it
seem possible that we may just be out of here
soon.

For if we are sick of this world ...just think
how much our Lord is sick of it too.

Love you Paul, hang in there. I want everyone
on this board to make it safely home.

Dear brother Paul...

I love you and my opinion of you is not diminished in the least.

Praise the Lord:
"...by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy." (Heb. 10:14)

"This is the one I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word." (Is. 66:2)

You are loved and accepted...not only that, but He actually sees you as perfect, because you've put your faith in Christ!




"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
(Jn. 8:36)

Paul please do not feel dirty... none of us are perfect and through the blood of Jesus we are all clean....

I have had many friends who live a gay life style and some love Jesus with all their heart... I know someone now who is struggling with all of this.... but I still love him and pray for him...he knows this too...I would never turn my back on him because Jesus never would.

Whom the Son has set free is free indeed..and Paul He has set you free. Try not to let the devil lie to you and heap condemnation on you.

Paul, how I wish I could hug you!! If anything, I respect you even more for sharing this. If you read my response, I believe that you being traumatized early in life is what caused this in you. Also being called effeminate is akin to being 'cursed' as words said to us DO matter.

It is possible that you had inherited a generational curse that made you more susceptible, and the devil knows this...he knows if we have familiar spirits and targets those who are more vulnerable. The Lord allowed this, however, to strengthen you in some way. To teach you something and for you to seek Him through this trial.

I personally was targeted for depression, through generational curses and I still struggle with it. I will say that my depression has been a blessing to me as it caused me to seek the Lord and give everything over to Him. Had I not had the depression I probably would be at the same place I was ten years ago. The Lord can use your experience for your ultimate good, so you should not be ashamed.

I don't know if you still struggle or not, but if you want information on deliverance I can certainly lead you in the right direction. I have probably 30 or 40 books on the subject and easily 50 sermons. I am obsessed with learning about deliverance and read everything I can get my hands on. I have done mostly self-deliverance and I am not completely free yet, but I think the Lord is using this to teach me.

The good news is that you were only involved in it for a month, so the roots may not be as deep, nor would you have been as exposed to multitudes of demons with exposure to various sexual partners. I believe a lot of deliverance revolves around the wounded spirit and the spirit of rejection. These allow the other spirits to fester. Apparently a lot of spirits come in in groups.

You are very brave, Paul, and I am certain the Lord is pleased to see you confessing your sin in public. He wiped the slate clean for you, so do not allow this guilt to consume you as this gives the enemy a stronghold...believe me I know about the guilty spirit as I fight that one ALL the time. You are falling into the enemy's trap if you don't accept the grace of Jesus and the forgiveness of your sin. I should heed my own words..LOL.

Anyway..let me know and I can give you any info on this stuff. A lot of the books I have are out of print and I have been hunting them down and buying them when they become available. May God bless you, dear Brother!!!

Aussie Paul:

I really have no business entering into this conversation as I have led a very sheltered life and can't speak with any authority on the subject under discussion; but I don't want you thinking you are too dirty to associate with anyone here at RITA.

Which of us anywhere in the world can claim to be without sin? If even one little sin is enough to cut us off from the Lord then NO ONE can point a finger of accusation to another - no matter what that sin may be.

Furthermore (and I don't mean this in an accusatory or condemning way at all - just trying to draw upon the teaching of the Bible), if Christ was KNOWN for associating with sinners (i.e. Mary Magdalene), then are we who do not embrace the gay lifestyle holier than Christ Himself by keeping ourselves apart from those who are in that lifestyle? (I do not advocate such a lifestyle, and I do realize that the Bible tells us to stay away from sin, but I take that to mean REFRAIN from the practice of it - not to ostracize those caught in it.)

You are loved Paul because there is no one in the whole world with your particular set of talents and personality traits (and if God made you with a sensitive heart that is because He intends to use that quality to His glory), and being made in the image of God, you have worth! It is the SIN, NOT the SINNER that is to be avoided.

Please do not allow the enemy to tear you to shreds over what Christ has already forgiven. It sounds to me as if you have come a LONG way from your past, and the Lord must be pleased that you are willing to give Him all the glory for who/where you are today.

Sorry for preaching at you when you probably already knew what I've been trying to say - I keep telling myself not to post as it is so easy to get carried away and before one knows it a careless word can be misunderstood and ...anyway...

Blessings always in His Name -

Hi Paul,
Well that certainly took a lot of guts, but guess what? Not one of us here have not sinned in one way or another. Who are any of us to judge one man's sin against another? The wonderful thing is that our Lord and Savior has erased our sin. You are no longer guilty brother! Let it go! Paul, Jesus loves you and so do I! Blessings brother.

Dearest sweet Paul - I don't know where to begin with what I want to tell you. First, I want to tell you that I love you, everyone here at RITA loves you and most importantly Jesus loves you! I wish I could be there to give you a big sister hug and tell you over and over again that you are loved, no "ands" "if's" or "but's" - we love you and it dosen't matter what you did in your past, we all have a past and we all feel dirty, unworthy of love and acceptance - but thank the good Lord, we are now cleansed by the holy blood of Jesus!

Second, I think you are one of the bravest persons I think I have ever known. It really took a lot of courage to come on the forum and post the inner most part of your heart - I think that makes me love you even more, if that is possible. What a courageous christian you are! One thing I have noticed about you Paul, you always open up yourself to whatever may come if it will help your fellow christian. I know the Lord looks at our heart and I know without a doubt what He will find when He looks at yours - LOVE!!

Third - what makes a man in my book? A man is not ashamed of the love he has for Jesus. A man thinks of others before himself. A man comes to the aid of other people or animals not thinking of what others may think. A man offers kind advice to those who are not as strong. A man will risk being judged by other people if it means another christian will find peace or comfort by it. In other words Paul, you are a man, a man that has my upmost respect and love.

Thank you Paul, thank you for being my brother in Christ, thank you for sharing with the rest of us sinners the love and peace that the Lord has given you.

I love you Paul, we all love you! Your sister in Christ, Ms. Victor

Website: Rapture In The Air

Oh my, Paul my heart went out to you reading what happened to you at so young an age. I could not help but respond with love. People have responded here how Jesus responds to you---He loves you!!

What was done to you was not your fault, as I'm sure your head knows. It opened the door for you to find comfort in the wrong places, and that is something that you had to work through in your life, to reject those bad choices, and you have been successful with Jesus' help!

Now don't let Satan steal your hard-won stability by making you feel dirty! No! There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! Not to those who have laid it all down and picked up their cross to follow our Savior!

You are a child of the Living God and a new man; you have been washed clean by the blood that was spilled on that cross 2,000 years ago!

We love you Aussie Paul, but most importantly Jesus loves you, seeking to fellowship with His child and call you friend.

Oh Paul Paul Paul I hold these things inside and tell noone hardly believing I did them myself. The alcohol the drugs and the encounter with a person of the same sex. You feel dirty and cheap and so unworthy of the Love of our precious Lord. Thank you for telling this on rita. I have such a struggle with if I can be forgiven and how how did I stray so far from my Lord and saviour

Good point, Ms. Victor!

Jesus came for the sinners!! The ones who KNOW they need a Savior.

Janice, all the things that were said to Paul could be said to you too!!! We were all blind and led astray at one point, but Jesus opened our eyes to His wonderful truth!

My Dear Sweet Brother,

What could I possibly add to the previous comments?

I only have a video response:



I love you, Paul. Here's another for both Janice and Paul:

Paul, many christians have done far worse..but they have been forgiven and the slate has been wiped clean. satan is the accuser and he is always there planting thoughts and reminding you of past sins...ask the Lord to help u forget these bad memories....and also,if everytime u think about bad things u did,if u rebuke satan,he will flee...this,with prayer.over time,satan will get more tired of harrassing u about this and u will find u have put all this behind u.

Melissa / Donna / Mary / Charity / Joyful Susan / Dee / New Creation / Big Mama /
Ms Victor / Janice / Carlee / Francesca

Sisters I am lost for words, thank you. I would like to reply individually but I think my post would go on forever. If I can say one thing that would be “I love you and can feel from each of you Christs love for a brother”.

My post was not to stir up anything regarding the original post of what the Bishop said. Like all of you my exact thoughts are that the bible is the bible Gods holy word. Paul explains quite clearly the stance of same sex relations. The word should not be twisted to allow for certain practices in life. Otherwise I could find and justify murder.

My true intentions were to come clean with the family that I have grown to love dearly; you are my brothers and sisters in Christ who has delivered me from my past. When I read the original post I was convicted in my heart to stand up on the stage and be accountable. Pure and simple, I am a Christian heterosexual man and I take my faith and my Lord Jesus seriously. If I am asked then I must do as the spirit leads regardless of whom or what people think of me.

This was a period in my life that was very sad, but please do not worry it is in the past washed in the blood of Christ. Carlee (love you sis) I did not get offended by anyone or anything in the post of the Bishop.

When I said I felt dirty, I did feel this. Like a person that has a secret when brought in front of others you feel at their mercy, as this is a human reaction. My dirty past secrets through forgiven where now presented to you all. After typing my post I went away and worked, I have felt the Lord close to me, knowing what I did was right. My prayer is that others who are struggling may read my post and know there is power in the blood of Christ, in his unfailing mercy and grace.

Dee (love you too sis), Please believe me, I am fine. That was 10 years ago. The Lord is my deliverance. I do not think or desire any sinful relations with the same sex. I am heterosexual not gay or bisexual.

Thankyou sisters for your love

All praises and glory to my King, brother and friend, the precious Lord Jesus.

As the replies were from my sisters only, I feel that I have offended my brothers. And as a man I know how they would feel. But I understand and accept, and I do not regret for one minute my decision in standing forward. I ask my brothers for forgiveness for any hurt.

I do not want secrets from my past. Secrets have the power for the evil one to use, to pull down and to destroy. Power for guilt and for shame. I have been brought out into the light, and is where I plan to stay

I love you all

In his beautiful love / Paul

Dear sweet Paul,

I echo the words of love that is being poured out to you here. I wish that I could give you a big hug myself!! Your courage, your love for the Lord, and your big heart touches me so much. Please don't let the enemy accuse you any more. All of our sins are cleansed by the blood of Jesus.

I love you, Paul, and there is not one ounce of condemnation in my heart. On the contrary, I admire you so much for your courage and honesty. I've sinned and broke the Lord's heart myself. We all have sinned. Jesus loves you so much, and has forgiven you and has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west, remember? Don't let the devil bring it up again.

God bless you, dear brother. Don't be ashamed any more. We all love you.

Let's fly together, Paul... wrapped up in God's marvelous Light... forever & ever!!!

My Precious and Dear Brother Paul, I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE OUR FAITHFUL AUSSIE...I'm very privileged to have you as My Brother.

The courage and willingness that you shared with us speaks volumes of Christ's presence in YOU shinning through your loving heart and wonderful character to Bless us today...from the bottom of your redeemed heart...I LOVE YOU MY "LILBRO" AND I ALWAYS WILL.

Like I've mentioned to you before PAUL, I'm really looking forward sometime after the rapture to meeting up with you and GIVE YOU ONE OF THOSE "PETER THE ROCK BEAR HUG MY FRIEND. I'm a skinny guy, but I can HUG

ybi Christ's Wonderful Love Always and Forever,
Joe

Email: jpcarr@att.net

Oh Paul, I am so very glad that the post on the Bishop did not hurt you in anyway, but that you wanted to show us the redeeming power of Jesus' blood by telling us you have suffered in the past from these sins, but are totally free now. Praise God!!! I am glad you are free from Satan's condemning voice and he can no longer trick you into feeling bad.

I know what you mean though about trusting other Christians with your dirty laundry. You must feel really good right now to not have anything to hide. Maybe we should do a thread on coming clean to show just how far we have come in this life! Anybody willing to brave it? Our brother Paul did! That takes guts, man (and confidence in our identity in the Lord)!

Paul,

I can identify in many ways with your post. In my younger years, I also struggled with sexual sins. Sin is sin, no matter the type and we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God!

Many things in my life fall under the heading of 'regret'. I for one have many, such as losing my father recently and wondering if all the seeds I had planted had started to grow. I did not see any, but I trust God.

I was involved in the occult years ago, more regrets, but I trust God.

I could go on and on, regrets after regrets.......if I allowed it. I don't (mostly). I trust God, more than I regret, if that makes sense. He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, but oh how the memory can be a trap of regret. As others have said, there is a big difference between conviction and condemnation.

Now, for the thing that I look forward to.... HE is going to wipe away all our tears. This includes our memories I believe of those things which weigh us down, the 'stain' of this world. Strictly my opinion all. But I look, and long for that day when we will see Him as He is, and we will be changed.

Paul, I admire you guy, and you have my utmost respect. How can I put it? Real men have the heart of God. His is tender, not hard, filed with love for others, and strong as well. I could only wish my heart was so tender. You have a great gift my friend, not a liability.

In Christ,

Mr. C

Paul,

I am sorry I did not read this first even though what I said but, I have said this a million times about my second husband who went through the same thing and who was the most beautiful, gentle person I have ever met and will forever miss. His last words were..."I wanted to marry you.....I just can never love or be married...." That is what that child abuser did to his whole perspective on love, and sex, it was destroyed, never nurtured or taught in a moral way.

I agree totally, I have been alone two years and am happy as can be. If I cannot have the earthly husband I will just live in peace in God's will, alone. Its obvious that is his will anyway.

God Bless

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

Paul thank you for opening up and sharing your testimony with us. I know you know this but all sin is created equal in God's eyes. It is hard for us to imagine a little white lie is the same as murder or having a lustful thought is the same as adultry, but it's all the same in God's eyes. You are no dirtier than any of us. Thank the Lord though we have been cleansed and have learned to crucify our flesh on a daily basis so that we are continusly following Jesus instead of following Satan!

Paul:

AS YOU CAN SEE, the people here LOVE YOU because we ALL
represent FAILURES who do NOT deserve His grace!!! You have
opened up and THAT IS WHAT IS NEEDED for everyone....

...Luke 13
...1There were present at that season some that told him of the
...Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.
... 2 And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these
...Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they
...suffered such things?
...3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
...4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew
...them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in
...Jerusalem?
...5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

I just had a session with the Lord before I read what you wrote. I
KNOW that I do NOT deserve ANY blessings of His. I KNOW that,
without Him, we are ALL LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This whole nation (and the world) has drifted off into sensuality and
self gratification and WILL NOT (yet) SEEK HIS FACE!!!!! But they
WILL and JUST LIKE YOU HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This song may seem out of place, but, I'm sending it along because
the "times" SURELY need to hear the ABSOLUTE ABSURDITY that
is NOW!!! Yes, you have been deceived, and, like me and ALL OF US,
we have WILLINGLY gone against the Lord!!! But, we come here to
look to and hear about a BETTER DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"THE MUSIC HAS DIED" (at some time in our lives) for most of us who
DO come here!!! That's "WHY" we are here!!!

MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calvin
LINK



Don McClean
American Pie

A long long time ago, I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe, they'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver
With ev'ry paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the door step
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried

When I read about this widowed bride
Something touched me deep inside
The day the music died, so

*(repeat chorus)
Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy
But the levy was dry
Then good old boys
Were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the bible tells you so

Now do you believe in rock and roll
Can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me
How to dance real slow

Well I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Then I digged those rhythm and blues

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pick up truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died, I started singing
(Repeat *)

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone
But that's not how it used to be

When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me

Oh and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned

And while Lenin read a book on Marx
A quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died, we were singin'
(Repeat *)

Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and fallin' fast

Plant a flower on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune
We all got up to dance
But we never got a chance

'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died, we started singin'
(Repeat *)

And there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again

So come on Jack be nimble
Jack be quick, Jack flash sat on a candlestick
'Cause fire is the devil's only friend

And as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell could break
That Satan's spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died, he was singin',
(Repeat *)

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away

I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the men there said
The music wouldn't play

But in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a world was spoken
The church bells all were broken

And the three man I admire most
The Father, Son and Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
And they were sinigin'
(Repeat *)

Paul, Isn't it wonderful that we love and worship a Savior who loves us and accepts us unconditionally? One who had enough mercy to die for us! "For ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God." All sin displeases God; He doesn't weigh one sin as greater or less than another. It's a "pass or fail" test; one sin and you fail. Praise the Lord, we don't have to stand at judgement before God -- we have a Savior who is willing to atone us, and make us clean again. Please don't let the "accusor" throw your past sins at you again and again; because you (and ALL Christians who confess their sins) ARE forgiven. God bless you Paul.

My dearest brother and friend,

I love you my wonderful brother. All of us have sin in our life that is not past because we have been forgiven by our Lord and Master Jesus. Once we are forgiven then it not thought of again by our Savior.

It took a honest man of God to share with us what has happened in your life. God bless you Paul. You listened to the Holy Spirit and stopped the sin that was weighing you down spiritually.

I have nothing but love for you, there is nothing that you could do that would change my Godly love for you.

Lift up your head, your redemption draweth nigh.

In Christ's Love..................Lynn

Email: ljpoohbunny@insightbb.com

Paul, I echo what all our brothers and sisters here have said - nothing has changed my opinion or love for you at all - we have ALL SINNED - and God by his grace has forgiven us all. No sin is worse than another in God's eyes - but they are all forgiven and forgotten by HIM - THAT's what matters - We all love you and you are still and forever will be our brother - Your Sister in Christ - With Love - Shirley

Oh Paul, You are so brave to state your past sins so plainly for all to read, to place yourself completely in a place to be judged by others, yet praise Him, you know how much more so you have been JUSTIFIED by your faith in Christ Jesus who has redeemed your life from the pit- as He has mine!!

I feel as you do, whenever I read of others who are stuck/caught/living in gross sin. I was there once, too. It is only by His Grace that I am found in Him. I am not able to point fingers or judge. It seems as if everyday I just can't quite believe how much HE saved me from myself, the blessings He has given me, HOW MUCH his Spirit abiding in me has changed me to be like HIM!. How wonderous! How amazing! I just keep my little self at His feet everyday; like a little baby lamb.... just following every move and word of my Good Shepard!

I love you Paul... couldn't care less what sins from whence you came... You are a brother to me! I am proud to call you such! I love you!!!

Melanie

To my dear Brothers & Sisters,

I deeply love you all and am moved by each and everyone of your replies to me.
I day I am called by my father to go home; I will look forward to meeting each one of you. You are my family in Christ; you know, you understand the power of his blood.

I am proud to stand with you all as your brother, you are part of me. I symbolically ask you all as a Jew would, to share a meal with me. A covenant of family and friendship.

Everyday I am slain by Christ’s love which is poured out on me; he is my end goal in this life. Every breath that I take, I want it to glorify my King.

I have one more secret to tell you all, and that is-
“I have no more secrets”

I am a new creation in Christ, I have no past but only a future in him. And to him I hold onto as I find protection under his wing.

I am truly amazed by the power of the Lords forgiveness. And this is reflected in his children that love and follow him. What other place or peoples, love you, forgive you and except you no matter what you may have done in the past. This is the power of our Lord, this is forgiveness. The children of God are a bunch of broken peoples, but in our weakness his strength shines and does wonders. I will always be amazed by the way our loving Lord works. Praises to him forever

Forgiveness-

I would just like to say to everyone, especially “Janice & Mr C”.

Forgiveness is the key to unlocking the chains that bind us. A long time ago I forgave, and when I did I accepted the Lords forgiveness 10 fold. What happened to me in my past is forgiven. I have forgiven all that have hurt me. I could not think of anything better than standing next to the man that abused me as a child in heaven. These are powerful words I am saying here. For if he is there, he has repented, I have repented, the chains are gone forever.

I have always vowed to keep a tender heart, no matter what men may try to do to me in life or the words they say, they can never ever take away my heart and soul. For these are the Lords. I guard my heart furiously, but everyday I am prepared to lay it out for sacrifice for my king, for his glory. And I pray that he will forever give me the strength to do so. We are known as his children by the love we give our fellow brothers. This is a strong calling in my life, and that is what I try to do.

I would like to round out this post now, and may it be forever stamped in love.
May it run its course and drift into the past. I pray that my life story can help another to come to know our King. May this post drift away and be washed and sealed by the blood of the lamb.

For there is only a future as a child of God. And that is who I am, a man that desires a future in him.

I will leave you with 2x photos of me, so you can see the real person behind the name-

I love you my brothers & sisters forever in Christ-
Paul

Paul, dear brother, true faith spoken from a heart of gifted repentance, thank you for your ministry, it's invaluable.

We love you, Paul . . A celebration awaits us all in Reunion in the Air, . . Can't wait to hear and see our Lord Jesus give benediction upon us there, . . in Heaven, we shall reminisce those times on earth; i.e., how we met, and embraced each other as Family, blessed in fellowship . . oh to see RITAians in Heaven smiling together . . at last at last.

I'll be keeping my eye out for you, Paul. I'll know what to look for!
Can't wait for that hug.

HI PAul
YOu don't have to feel dirty . Not at all...-Why is it the victim..in your case 7 years old when it happened...--is the one who feels dirty after being abused? When the culprit is the dirty one? NOT the innocent child!! He should be feeling all the things you were -the shame, guilt, etc. not you.
The effect that these abusers have on children is indeed terrible--but remember when Jesus said--better to tie a millstone around one's neck than harm a child..You are deeply loved by all of us here.
Take care.

Email: steffiefree@rogers.com

Paul my dear brother I am amazed at your honesty and bravery. You did not have to come forward with your personal story but in doing so you are a testimony to God's power and mercy and this shows us all that anything in possible through Christ. I look forward to meeting you in paradise one day and to dine with you in our Father's kingdom. You are loved much Paul and you have earned a seat at the banquet. I love you dear brother.

Paul,

The devil always attacks a person to let him feel guilty. Remember, he has lost you and will try anything to get you back especially working on your guilt. By this he breaks down your defense and you become self convicted again. He has no other power over you anymore. Rebuke him when he attacks you again in this same manner and remind him that you are now a blood washed saint in the eyes of Jesus.

When we become born again, our spirit is washed clean by the blood of Jesus and becomes spotless before the Father. It is now a battle in the flesh and soul to grow further in Jesus. It is here where the enemy can only attack you. Do not let it happen again. ... Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4: 7b).

Your past sins are forgiven. God took them and have thrown them in the deepest ocean. He does not even remember them anymore. This is why not anyone of us can hold your sins of the past against you.

I only read your testimony today. I am blessed out of my socks by it. What a wonderful testimony you have.

Stand fast. Remember,as I have already mentioned in previous posts - IF YOU HAVE REPENTED AND MADE JESUS YOUR LORD, YOU ARE SAVED. Declare it to the enemy when they attack you again.

I will pray for you that you will overcome any guilt.

Email: vernavn@iafrica.com