The Lord has really been doing a work in me and I am SO thrilled to share it. Most of you probably already understand these truths, but it has really taken me a long time to embrace them. He has had to coax me little by little into finally accepting them.

I have been spending a lot of time seeking Him and reading things He has sent my way. I had a VERY difficult time accepting His sacrifice for me. I would get to a point and then revert to feeling so unworthy that I just couldn't accept it. I knew this was disrespectful, but had such a hard HARD time embracing it and asked Him to help me with this.

He showed me through dreams that I was not resting in Him and also gave me the meaning to a recurrent nightmare I had had since I was five and it all relates back to my faith and trust in Jesus was lacking....and that He could only build this bridge in me by the crucifying of my flesh. It finally clicked with me that I could not do anything in my own strength. I knew this intellectually before, but still couldn't embrace it. I was such a striver, always trying to prove myself to Him...to try and give back to Him in some way in gratitude, but it doesn't work that way.

He showed me that HE does the work in me and that my only job is to SUBMIT and obey as the Spirit leads me. That the more I allow Him to crucify my flesh, cleaning out the idols, the stronger my faith will grow. And here is the reason...faith is based on REST in Him. To abide in Him, I must LIVE in Him. It isn't about doing, but about BEING.

Rest is just knowing that He has it all taken care of no matter what happens. It is impossible to please God without faith. He showed this through a series of dreams all having to do with bridges...Jesus being the bridge. He showed me that I couldn't get to where He needs me to be to use me if I don't have this bridge of faith and trust in Jesus. This is a supernatural bridge that is built by me letting go of my life.

I know this sounds so easy and simple and intellectually I have understood the concept, but I had a big wall blocking me from accepting and fully trusting His sacrifice. Once again through dreams and a series of painful experiences He showed me that I in fact suffered from a wounded spirit. Who knew?? LOL I honestly had no idea, but He used pain as a way to bring back familiar painful experiences in my past to make me deal with them. Once I remembered them and forgave the trespasses, He then was able to heal the wounds. Until I acknowledged them the wound was there and would rear its ugly head anytime a similar rejection issue occurred. I truly had a spirit of rejection that I had no idea I had. Although I had forgiven people in my past, until I ALLOWED the Lord to heal the wound, I would still suffer every time a similar incident occurred..........primarily since this spirit of rejection would make sure that wound was open and raw again.

So after this revelation, I chose to ALLOW the Lord to heal my wounded spirit as it was something I had to be in agreement with as an act of my will. I am just so grateful and thankful that He has dealt with me on this. I wouldn't say I am totally delivered or healed, but I finally came to a true acceptance of His grace and love for me.

I decided to CHOOSE to rest in Him. He has shown me so much over the last year (it has been exactly one year since I became baptized in the Spirit and began having these dreams and visions from the Lord). Some of what He showed me was so fantastic and outside the box of most people's beliefs of what is to happen that although I believed intellectually, part of me didn't believe it as I am the type of person that tends to need a lot of reassurance. I lack self-confidence, especially when I am in a 'maverick' type position.

Well basically I felt He has been telling me the last two weeks or so to REST in HIM...and that to do this I have to believe that everything He has shown me is going to come to pass. So one night I finally said 'OK, Lord...I'm going to believe in everything you have shown me.' Part of me hasn't wanted to believe because I didn't want to get my hopes up and besides assuming can smack of pride and I have really been trying to purge myself of any remnants of pride. Humility is SO hard to truly master.

So that is where I am at. I have to say that I feel He has shown me that we are SO close. I believe He finally gave me the interpretations of five or six dreams that all give time markers for the next two month period we are in for MANY things to transpire. I have my own idea of what I think will happen based on these dreams and impressions He has given me, but of course I could be wrong as I can't know I am getting the full interpretation until after the fact.


Anyway...just wanted to check in with everyone and tell you how blessed and thankful I am. He is really doing a work in me....and fast too. I see my own progress and am finally having it click that He is strong in our weakness...and that THIS is how He is glorified. Before these were just words, but I think I now finally understand the entire depth of them. I can't wait to see what He has planned for me ...should He tarry, that just gives me more time to allow Him to do more work on me.

I think the Lord let me try to make myself worthy for a time, so that He could show me I couldn't do it...LOL...too funny...me striving and failing and then crying out to Him...then He would let me go a bit longer...so inch by inch He had me sacrifice a little bit more of myself to Him...letting go of the idols and the wants of the flesh. It has been a painful process and I still have a long way to go, but I see growth..Praise the Lord!!!

Just wanted to update and tell you all how happy I am!!

Dee I just noticed you've said about Nightmares since age 5. Hopefully it doesn't haunt you anymore by today.

I have those nightmares too in my life till I learned a very simple thing to do with it:
1. Attacking those nightmares by the blood of the Lamb Yeshua and praying outloud that I declared that there will be no nightmares anymore in my life and so on. It works well with me, but I must continually doing that everyday in my life because once I forget it, those nightmares will come to my dream. It won't come if I declare it before I go to bed in my nightime praying. But as humans, sometimes I fall asleep in my working thus completely forget praying because of all work burdens, then those nightmares could come. But as soon as I wake up, I pray and declare it again and again, and it goes away.

What I want to have right now is dreaming the rest of my life about the New Jerusalem, every detail of it and of course dream about The Throne of Adonai to be in His presence. These two kind of dreams so far I have never experienced it.

Anyway, we're gonna meet each other right, in the air soon?

Dee, good to hear from you. In the last days, He will pour out His Spirit on all mankind. Sounds like you are a witness to that!! Thanks for sharing your witness.

Hey Dee, can u give me your email address?

Dear Sister, Dee.

I'm so happy for you, dear sister in Christ. I can truely relate to your struggle. I suffered from the same thing for years. Probably not for the same reasons, but just wanting to let you know that I understand, and to tell you that you're not the only one that has had to come to understand what resting in Him really means.

Resting in Him really equips you to move forward in your walk, and opens up a whole new dimension in your faith. You will be so blessed and empowered by His Spirit. Hallelujah, I'm doing the happy dance for you!

Anyway, if we're still here for a while, I highly recommend this book by Hal Lindsey. It it absolutly the best book on Faith and Resting in Jesus that I have ever read. Hal writes just as plainly as he speaks and explains things so comprehensivly without being overwhelming, that it's just a joy to read.

This book is quite a bit different than most of Hal's books or programs, but it really blessed me, and I know that you and anyone here would enjoy it.

The book is "Faith, for Earths final hour". You can have your local Christian book store order it, or order it online. Here's Amazon's link, but there are other's if you google the title.

http://www.amazon.com/Faith-Earths-Final-Hour-Lindsey/dp/1931628270

YSIC,
Chris N.

Dear sister Dee,

I am soooooo happy to hear from you!! The Lord has put you on my heart lately, and I wanted so much to start a "Hello, Dee, where are you?" thread, but I wasn't sure if you were still checking in....now that we're hearing from you, I wish now that I would have taken a step out of faith and went ahead and did it!!!! (That's me, soooo cautious, then the Lord shows me that it was "okay" to do what I wanted to do in the first place!) Good lesson for me, huh?

Anyway, it's so exciting to hear what the Lord is doing in your life. He is refining you like gold, Dee, what a beautiful (but sometimes painful) experience! I know, because I went through the same thing about 20 years ago. It's such a wonderful way to get close to the Lord.

I so understand the spirit of rejection that you mentioned. Very painful, and I still struggle with it from time to time. May the Lord completely deliver us from that!!

God bless you, dear sister. Please keep in touch!!!

Hi Dee, I was so happy to see you post and have also been thinking about you!! Glad that you are doing so well and I really enjoyed reading your update!

I have had some of those bridge dreams also and am wondering if mine have a similar meaning as yours. I grew up feeling like I could not trust those that were taking care of me and I had to take care of myself or rely on my self, so I have had some maybe similar stuff to overcome.

When I was reading your post I thought about your baby art and was thinking it is kind of similar to how the Lord molds us into His perfect creation!

Take care Dee! Love you in Christ Melissa

Hi Dee, so glad to hear from you! I had wondered what you were up to. I know God's Spirit is strong in you and I figured He was taking you to new heights in Him!

You and I both have that same "controller" personality, and I know how hard it is to "let go and let God". I go through it too!

I am so glad to hear you are growing in Him! He never lets us down, and is always making us into His likeness and image!

Blessings to you sis!

ysiC,

Diane C

It's good to hear from you!

Website: savvyinternetladies.com/blog

Dee, I am so happy for you and, you are ABSOLUTELY right on with everything you have said!!!!!!!!!!

It took me 43 years to find that place of peace in him too and now, I want nothing else. I do hope we go soon too. God Bless.

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

Hi Dee...

It been too long girl!!! Glad to see you're still with us. It always bothers me when people go missing for any length of time. I was going to take a holiday but can't seem to give up the good fellowship and hardy discussions. We all come at life from a little bit different angle but He loves us no matter what.

You and I both have a type "A" personality, which Diane said is a controller type. Ugg! It's like Paris Reidhead said in his tape that he had to learn to open the trunk, hand the Lord the keys to the car, and say drive it wherever You wish. He was always trying to be a back seat driver and in this case that doesn't work well AT ALL!!! That's me all over. Letting go and let God.

It must be about time for His return because this last year has been a lulu. He's been doing the same thing with me. It sure puts one in a place of humility, knowing that He's far more capable than I ever was, and having to dredge up the past in order to heal the present. Painful but very worthwhile.

Good to here from you sis. Thanks for posting.

YBIC
Steve

Dee,

Sorry I did not get to you sooner. It was great hearing from you...You are in my prayers....

So glad things are going well for you and enjoying yourself. Write me sometimes..love to hear from you.
All is well at this end...Have been kept very busy with taking care of my home, husband and ministering for the Lord. Hope YOU ARE ENJOYING ALL THE EXCITING MESSAGES...HE IS COMING SOON!!!MOST LIKELY BEFORE THE YEAR ENDS....MY THOUGHTS ARE FALL...BUT DO HOPE SOONER!!!IT TAKES TIME TO CLEAN UP HIS CHURCH!!!

HIS BLESSINGS...ysic Virginia

Email: varnke@roadrunner.com

Website: RITA

Thanks, everyone!! I've missed you too.
Trinity, I included me email address in this post in the link.

I just recently read a book that amazed me as it happened to contain everything the Lord has been showing me recently, except it is in a concise format. Many profound truths contained in it. It helped me understand the relationship between submission to the Will of the Lord, resting in Him and understanding the concept of grace. It also identified areas where many people get stalled.....that they never move to Tabernacles, abiding in Him, and Him in us. Just thought I would share as this book blessed me so much!

The Crucified Ones by Charles Newbold Jr.

http://www.christineboudreau.ca/newbold/or/crucified/crucifiedtoc.html

Email: dannamcdaniel@gmail.com

We've missed you Dee!! Glad to hear from you. Boy, you sound alot like me. I still struggle with feeling worthy and feel like I have to do more for Jesus when really it's about giving up control and letting Jesus have all control. We have to put ourselves in the potter's hands and he alone will create us into a masterpiece!