My dear brother and sisters,

I love you all dearly

I am feeling much better today, a big thank you for all your prayers for this Aussie bloke. Yesterday was abit emotional with some tears.

Basically my birthday was a good day, a quiet one in many respects. I awoke in the morning, did my usual things. I spoke to all my children, then treated myself to a good old fashioned ride on my motorbike to blow out any cob webs (lots of fun)

In the evening I had family and friends come over for a get together, party. It was a very good night; I have 4x step grand children you could say that made me a nice card with many hugs from them all.

At the end of the night it happened, Barbara for no apparent reason brought up to me how I have changed over the last year. This is all centred on my Christianity, (we were alone when this happened, every one was gone by now).

When she started I knew instantly that this was an attack from satan not her, but I got hurt indeed. I was accused of been an embarrassment, that she did not want her family to be subjected to my beliefs in Jesus. How could Jesus help me if I got cancer tomorrow, basically he could not I was told. Of course I defended him, but was told I was a dreamer. I got told I was too fanatical in my beliefs, that all I ever do is listen to music about him and read about him etc.

A big sore point is my ex wife, she is a Christian. All who know me also know my past; I got sick and was left to fend for myself alone when I had a break down. I lost everything, including my marriage and my children. My ex whom I will not judge is a very hard person especially on the children (enough said), well Barbara also told me that if my Christianity was the same that my ex believed in, then she does not want it. She does not want anything that is the same as my ex, to be a hypocrite (her words).

When I meet Barbara I had back slidden at that stage in my life after my breakdown, Barbara believed in me and we have come so far from those sad days, I love her.
Barbara knew my beliefs as I never rejected Christ even though I was very Luke warm at that stage. It was approx 14 months ago I heard Gods voice, and gave everything to him in surrender. I knew I needed him more than life itself.

So after Barbara telling me all this, I was told that she does not want me in her life if this is the choice I want to make, to follow Jesus with a passion. She does not want her family embarrassed by me. Well I told her the answer, Christ comes first, I love you dearly, you mean everything to me, but no person comes between me and my Lord, my first love.

After which I was told again that I was a dreamer, and then the conversation ended. She had drunk a little too much that night and I think this had a lot to do with the way she acted. By my views are when a person is drunk, quite often the truth comes out.

So as you can imagine yesterday I was not feeling to good. I was deeply saddened.

I told her the next day what she told me, and she apologised, I forgave her. But still I know I have a big battle ahead of me. I have had Barbara so close in accepting Jesus, but she won’t commit. She is a beautiful person in my life that I pray for each and every day. She has a generous heart and loves friends and family, and is very out going. Where I am more the home body type, I love solitude, family friends and it does not take much for me to feel content.

So family there you have it, my birthday.

I will not turn my back on Jesus ever again, my first love. What ever the cost it pales to nothing compared to what he has done for me, and I will not bend to a humans request what ever the pain it may cause me. Where ever I go in this life I can count on his riches and mercies and never ending love.

I choose the narrow path because I love him

Please keep Barbara in your prayers

In his beautiful love / Paul

Paul,
You and Barbara are in my prayers. Glad you're feeling better today. Jesus will honor your stand for keeping him first in your life.

Love you, dear brother.

Mary in Ohio

Email: mcmary73@comcast.net

Paul, I will definitely keep Barbara and YOU in my prayers. Been there, done that! God just HAS to come this year!

Dearest Paul - I wish I could give you a big sister hug right now - I see so much of the Lord's love in your heart and it just seems that all the people you have around you are rejecting that love - how very, very sad! I agree with you 100% - Jesus comes first and nothing can come in the way of that. I have told my husband many times that he is not first in my life, Jesus is first and always will be and I told him that I hope that I wasn't first in his life either. Nothing should come between you and your Lord Jesus - nothing!

Paul - I know you love her, but unless she lets Jesus into her heart, you would be unequally yoked with an unbeliever - which, if she would change and become a Christian that would be good, but if she doesn't you would be living out this bad birthday for years to come.

I will pray for you dearest Paul that you will find friends that love the Lord as much as you do and to find a lady that has Jesus first in her life - you sound as though you are surrounded by unbelievers - which makes you the cat in the dog pen! You need to be with people that can share the love you have for our Lord, to uplift you and encourage you - wouldn't it be nice if all of us at RITA could be together in person so we could give the hugs, give the encouragement and to have given you a big birthday cake and party! One day soon dear brother we will be with our Lord and He will wipe away every tear! Love you dear Paul! Your sister in Christ, Ms. Victor

I too wish I could give you a hug. You and your family are in my prayers. Love you brother.

Website: savvyinternetladies.com/blog

Paul I know how hurtful it is...these attacks from Satan than come through our loved ones. We all seem to be having more attacks lately from loved ones. Satan wants us to get angry, sad, and build up roots of bitterness that will lead us into bondage, but we need to remember who we war against and cast him down. Greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world! I pray for Barbara to see Jesus in you each and every day. I believe a day will come that she will come to Jesus...it very well maybe during the tribulation but better late than never. Think of all the seeds your planting. Satan wants you out of her life only because he feels threatened!!

Oh Paul.. I'm so sorry your birthday didn't turn out the way you wished.... I know we have all had occasions that turned out to be so disappointing... and this seemed like a truly hurtful one of those times. Yes, a few drinks does tend to loosen the tongue and the good judgment goes out the window. I'm sure Barbara is sorry for how harsh she may have been. Bless you for forgiving her.

Paul, I just want you to know there are others out here who are also being hurt by their closest loved ones, you know the saying "You always hurt the ones you love". That is soooo true.

Barb seems to have the attitude my husband does, it's embarrassing to them for us to be so sold on Jesus and the Rapture. I think the Rapture thing is what's turning my husband off more than anything, but he still won't make that commitment to Jesus, even though I told him he does not HAVE to believe in the Rapture, that's just icing on the cake if he loves and believes in Jesus, but he's always been the type who just doesn't want to talk about "things like that". It makes him so uncomfortable. I just don't understand it. He went to church with me when we were dating, but of course we both backslid when we moved away from home (we went to the west coast, young and so in love) no family around to keep us in line.

Anyway, I truly believe we have planted the seeds and when the Rapture happens and I pray it's very soon, that they will then be committed knowing they know the truth better than lots of others, and they will be able to tell others the truth. They WILL be with us eventually, that is my only consolation and I know Jesus will not let them be lost, because of the seeds we have planted and not backed down from our beliefs.

Bless you and love you Brother Paul - sincerely hope we'll all be in Jesus' real presence soon.

Dear Paul,

I'm so sorry that you went through that kind of pain. You're absolutely right about two things:

1. It was an attack from satan; and

2. When a person is drinking the truth comes out because their inihabitions are released.

However please keep in mind that it's true that even though their inihabitions are released when they are drinking, it is equally true that their emotions are exaggerated as well. When you couple that with the devil whispering in the unbelievers ear, the truth is greatly distorted.

For that reason, please do not take what your wife said to heart.

I am proud of you for taking a stand for Jesus. But more importantly, so is He.

" If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

"Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. Luke 14: 26-27

I believe there are many Christians, but not all Christians are disciples.

You are His disciple, Paul.

God bless you, dear brother. I do pray for your wife's salvation.

OH Mary-
Thank you dear sis, satan uses so many different ploys to try and make us reject Christ. Not going to work with this bloke.
Love ya sis

Rhonda-
It seems everyone at RITA and I imagine any Christian on fire is under attack lately. The devil knows his time is short, hang in there sis. I read your replies this morning; I know you are suffering too. We all have a finish line ahead of us and that finishing line ends in his arms forever. Call out to family; we will help pick you up so we can all run together as one.
Love you sis

Ms Victor-
I have never really been able to take off that sign on my back that reads “Kick me”!!!!
Only joking

You are right Sis, I am unequally yoked and I only have myself to blame in this regards. When I was sick and recovering I back slid, I reached out and Barbara was there. But now I am on fire, I simply love my Lord.

So now I am caught in a situation that yes is hard. But as a child of God, I am called to shine his light to the whole world, and that includes the people that I love. I have 2x choices, leave or stay. My views are that if I packed my bags and left, my witness for Christ would be shot to pieces. If I am told to leave, fair enough I will go as hard as this would be to do. I have to face the choices made by me in my life and there consequences as a man and as his child.

You are right in my life I am surrounded by un believers both in my personal life and work life. I can only pin point a couple that are Christians. I am alone in this storm around me. I live in a small rural town and do not benefit from large churches with others that are of similar age, interests etc. The wilderness is where I roam, some times I long for the fellowship of others, but when I am in his presence alone with him I am fulfilled. His love is like water to my soul, it is all I need.

I love RITA my family; RITA has given me so much refreshment. God lead me to RITA for a reason, and I now know why.

If I found myself alone tomorrow in this world, I would not fret. My views of life and companion shipment have changed since I was a young man. I have travelled to far to know otherwise. I could live by myself in contentment. Women are beautiful and are very dear to me, but the physical side to me is not what makes a person special, it is the heart. And a heart is something you can share unashamed in its naked beauty. To truly know someone is to know the heart.

Ms Victor you are very special to me, I love you as my sis

Cheryl Ann-
Hugs right back at ya Sis, love you too. A deep thank you for your prayers.

Darlene-
I agree, everyone here is under attack lately. We all must be doing something that the enemy does not like. What a better way to get back than to attack through family where it hurts. Love ya sis.

Shirley-
I felt like a real downer reporting what I did to my RITA family. Everyone had sent me such nice loving congrats for my birthday, but I needed to tell the truth of the matter to get it off my chest so to speak. Thank you. I understand where you are coming from Shirley with your husband. We almost feel afraid to talk normally, sometimes I feel like I am two faced. I come here and praise God in love and peace but when home are guarded trying not to offend. It is a fine line indeed.

Barb is a beautiful person; I just want the very best for her

Love ya sis

Lisaleenie-
You are right also sis, drink brings out things that are exaggerated in proportion. I have a tender heart but I am also thick skinned and let things roll off me in the heat of the battle so to speak. It is only afterwards that I think about things.

Jesus is Lord Lisaleenie, my first love, our first love.

Love ya sis

Well there you go all, tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow could even be the DAY. Until then we fight with our heads held high in his love, a love that transforms and shatters strongholds.

The only thing I can now say is “Praise him in all situations. His grace is sufficient.”

I love my RITA family, thank you for accepting me for who I am. The worst of sinners, a fellow traveller.

In his saving love / Paul