I love everyone because that is what Jesus commands us to do. But how do you show love to people who are always doing the wrong thing!!!

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You can show unconditional love to all people you meet because it is a commandment and, since we are not God, we are not the final authority in their lives.

However, the love they see through us despite the sin, is what can bring them closer to God. They know we too sin, that of course makes them feel better but, its our conviction and daily unconditional love that will show them the truth of God's love.

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

How do you show love to your own daughter that continually disrespects your rules and treats you like crap!!!(And is a christian by the way but acting very rebellious and yes I have constantly been praying for her but she is not changing!!!)

And she goes out at night and stays out all night and doesn't go to school then wants to bring her friends in the house at 4:30 in the morning.

Would you get mad and call the cops on them? Or would you show them love and let them in your house when they are disrupting the peace and disrespecting you and your house and your rules!!!

Where do you draw the line between love and discipline and justice!!!!

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Angelheart, This is really a tough situation to be in for you! I will be praying for you. It might not be a bad idea to try to get some authority help if you can, only because she may get into bigger trouble running around at night and doing who knows what.

I would keep praying and I am sure that our Lord will direct you to the right response. I would really try to lay down the law though and be honest with her about what she is doing to you, disrespect, etc, and maybe come up with some type of consequence and follow through with it.

Sorry to hear you are going through this with your daughter. Will keep you both in prayer.

Thank you Melissa I just hope and pray you never have to go through this with your children it is horrible!!!

And it is really hard to show love and be a witness for Jesus when you are dealing with rebellious teenagers!!!

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Angelheart, I can imagine it is a very hard situation to be in. You are showing her love though by trying to get her to straighten up. Something I tell my kids is that if they don't want to obey me, that eventually God will correct them and it will be far worse than anything that I could come up with.

I am thankful for my husband for putting the fear of God into our kids, and fortunately we have not had to deal with this. They know that they cannot cross their dad or they will be in big trouble!!

God will back you up Angelheart! Hang in there. You sound like a very good mom! I am sure that your witnessing to her friends is not making the enemy very happy either!

What kind of consequence would you suggest??

Because everytime I threaten her she threatens to run away so what do I do???

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I am not sure what to suggest but will give it some thought. Maybe there are some other single moms that have had to deal with this type of thing that have some suggestions.

Will keep praying though!

Thank you Melissa. But all the moms I talk to just say well let them run away then.

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Yes indeed Angel Heart, When it comes to teenagers, and I have been there, they must follow ALL laws. I was not aware you were talking about kids but, I thought you were talking about grownups who continually fail.

I am the one that told the High School police officer to go through Michael's car, they called me because he came to class stoned, and they did not want him to drive home and yes, he had missed 30 plus days of school because of this addiction in a semester.....and was failing and all his friends were losers.

The cop found a knife in the car and not to mention he smelled of pot....I thought for sure they would haul him off to jail but no.............It did end up under legal action which is good.....the court put him under probation.....he broke probation etc.... you have to change friends completely....etc,,,,,he was kicked out of that school which was GOOD, and when he failed a drug test 6 months later...he was ordered to 90 days jail or rehab. I gave up physical custody of him to keep me from being jailed from his behavior and turned it over to the father....lawyers understand this situation.

You have to remove the child from that environment. Its bad out there for our kids, it really is. So, that is what I did, turn my son over to authorities, was cooperative with the school, gave up custody, and, he literally has been under court orders, until he graduates from High School. He is also under court orders to attend counseling, narcanon...etc...the government has certainly not failed me in that department. He lives with his father who can afford to support him so he can have his truck and work.....etc...

YOU do not have to go jail because of your child's actions, you must go to the counselor at school and set it straight. They will work with you and this can be overcome. Believe me...I have seen it all with these kids and they can be redeemed its just that we moms will seem like the bad guy for a while. But, we are not...imagine how God feels everyday sorting through this so......give it up to God!!!!!

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

She might end up doing that, my oldest daughter did when she had the chance. That is why it may be a good idea to get some authority involvement, although it is too bad that it is secular.

It is a really tough situation. You can just leave her to natural consequences too. Just keep praying and eventually she will run into trouble at some point. Not sure if that is the best thing either.

Maybe you can threaten her with the Lord and then watch Him correct her! Remind her that God is seeing everything she is doing and will correct her at some point.

Just some thoughts for you. Sorry you are dealing with this. Wish I could come give you a hug!

Thank you Corgi mom maria sorry to hear about what you went through with your son. You have made me feel better because I hate being the bad guy but if that is what it takes then I guess I will have to be. But that is what I mean how do you show love to people who are constantly doing the wrong thing in this case it is my daughter!!!

But yes I have given up to God and I took Melissa's advice and asked God to correct her because I just don't know how because she just threatens to always run away!!!

I guess now it is all up to God I need peace!!!

Awww thank you Melissa a hug would be really nice
right now!!!

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Yes, Our teenagers will hear God's voice because of our constant prayers, but, at the same time, we will go through many trials. Look at what they are facing today. God will open the right door at the right time, we just have to have faith, rebuke satan, and call upon the Holy Spirit, and the blood of Yeshua, each day!!!!!!

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

My daughter is so lucky she has a praying mom!!!

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Angelheart, Maria has some good advice too, you will know at the time if need to get authority involvement. You and your daughter are in good hands!

God bless you!

PS She is very lucky to have a praying mom and some day she will realize this!

Thank you Melissa I just do not want it to lead to that my daughter is a good girl I just want her to start acting like the good girl I raised her to be!!!

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AH, I can sure understand that and would definitely make that the last resort.

It is a real battle for these kids. There is so much evil influence in the world and life is just hard and they feel the stress of it all too.

Will pray!!

Dear Angelheart, I am so sorry that you are going through this. You truly do not deserve to be treated that way.

Not having children myself, I am in no position to give you advice. But I would listen to corgi mom Maria, she's had experience in that area and is practicing tough love. That looks like what is needed here in your situation. Being loving and kind is not working. Your daughter, sad to say, is not showing you the respect you deserve. It looks like some hard discipline is needed in this case.

I don't know if you listen to Dr. Phil or not, but what he frequently says to people who are having problems and getting the same results is: "How's that working for you?" In other words, if what you're doing isn't working, it's time to try something more radical to make her listen to you.

Another thing that came to mind is do you know if she's drinking or on drugs? Being under the influence of alcholol or drugs can drastically change a person's behavior. You mentioned that she was hooked on cigarettes. Is it possible that she could be experimenting with more than just tobacco??

Is there a strong male figure in your family who your daughter respects that she would listen to? An uncle, grandfather, or family friend? No one can do it alone, Angelheart. You need someone in authority to help you. If there is no family member or close friend, what about your pastor? Or an elder in your church? It looks like what you're saying to her is going in one ear and out the other, but usually when the bad behavior is mirrored to someone outside the immediate family, the person is embarassed and that could bring them around. I know that you want to protect her, but sometimes a person just has to face the consequences of their behavior.

I will pray for you, Angelheart. I could see the anguish and frustration in your words. And the heartbreak, too. You have your RITA family here for you, Angelheart, and we love you.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus, we need You desperately!!

Thank you Lisaleenie all I can do is keep praying because God knows what is best I don't

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Angelheart.

My heart aches for you and I know you are hurting and I would also like to give you a hug ((((((((((()))))))))))))))))


Being a parent myself I will only tell you that whatever you decide to do, you have to follow through with it and not change midstream..teenagers know how to manipulate and cry etc to get their way and it is very easy to give into them when they cry and have tantrums but whatever you do...stay with it...God will be with you and, like Moses and Aaron , the people on RITA will hold your arms up when you get tired..


YSIC
Sarah

Email: sbell48907@aol.com

AngelHeart, I so sympathize with you in your situation! I would say continue to show her your love, but your house needs to be your home, and whatever rules you have in place for your home, she needs to respect and follow thru with, with the idea that bringing friends home in the wee hours of the morning is not going to happen. Having rules and boundaries is showing love in the long run.

Another way to love her might be to draw on, aside from Rita, your circle of friends, family and church leadership to keep her held up in prayer in agreement with your prayers.

Outside of that, she needs to know that she will reap what she sows down the road, if she continues in this rebellion. Some teens begin to change when they are shown different real life situations of others, and the price they are paying for wrong decisions. Maybe finding some of those situations and taking her to see those kinds of things will affect her for the good, if there is anything like that available to do

Another kind of love is painful, and involves some kind of intervention where you involve her in some kind of program that will affect change in her life.

If after looking at any of those things, nothing works, then whatever she gets herself tangled up in outside your home, she will have to face the consequences for. You can only do what you can do.

Some kids are just headstrong. Mine were, and I tho't in my newfound faith and ignorance that, involving them in church would be the answer. Was I wrong! They have never forgotten nor forgiven that!

I believe you also need continued prayer for protection peace and safety in your home, by your trusted friends, so that you can stay strong and find encouragement untill things are better.

Lord, I plead the blood of Jesus in and around AngelHeart's home, and bind the enemy from bringing destruction into her home, and between AngelHeart and her daughter. Lord, we bind any unknown generational things of the past that may be open doors and reasons for the choices her daughter is making in life. Father, time is short, and we ask You to open this teens eyes heart mind and soul to the biblical choices before her. Rather than death, change her heart to choose life, in every way, situation and circumstance. Cause her to see You Lord as You are, and save her friends Lord, or remove from her the one's influencing her to follow wrong paths. Glorify Your Name Lord in her life, Amen.

Thank you Sarah and Kolleen!!! And a big Amen to your prayer Kolleen!!!

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AngelHeart,
I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I am a single person with no kids of my own. So I guess I am not the best person to give advice either. However, I would let your daughter know that behavior like this is NOT pleasing to God. That acting out against your parents is not a minor thing in God's eyes. We are commanded to HONOR and respect our parents in the Ten Commandments.

Exodus 20:12 (NASB)
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.

Leviticus 19:3 (NASB)
"Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you shall keep My sabbaths; I am the LORD your God."

Being disobedient only brings God's judgment. Tell your daughter that even if she runs away there is nowhere she can run to get away from God. God is omnipresent which is just a fancy way of saying that He is everywhere. God watches everything that we do.

When we are disobedient we grieve the Holy Spirit that lives within us. We trample upon the blood of Christ which was shed for us. We cannot call ourselves Christians and then act out against God's commandments without repercussions. When we disobey God we are showing that we do not love him. God ordains who every persons parents will be.

Psalm 139:1-13 (NASB)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.

You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,

Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”

Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.

Rebellion leads to God's wrath being poured out on us.

Ezekiel 20:21 (NASB)
"But the children rebelled against Me; they did not walk in My statutes, nor were they careful to observe My ordinances, by which, if a man observes them, he will live; they profaned My sabbaths. So I resolved to pour out My wrath on them, to accomplish My anger against them in the wilderness.

If you say you love God then you need to be obedient to His word. If you say that you love God then you need to be obedient to your parents. If you say that you love God then you will keep his commandments.

John 14:21 (NASB)
"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."

1 John 5:3 (NASB)
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.

Thank you Knight Michael you are so right!!! How can she say she loves God when she is disobeying his commandment to love and honor your parents!!!

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Dear Angelheart,

I just wanted you to know that the Lord has put you on my mind and heart very strongly. I honestly wish that I could offer some advice to you that would be helpful, but as I said before, I'm not in a position to give you advice because I have no children of my own. All I can do is support you and keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

I know that a lot of her friends just got saved, as well as her boyfriend, but they may still be struggling with "putting off the old man" and "putting on the new man in Christ" as the Bible says. Then on top of that, if some of the old crowd is back to tempt them to go back into their old ways, that could be a contributing factor to her rebellious behavior. If that's the case, she could be doing some things that she shouldn't be doing, which could explain the rebellious behavior towards you...especially since you're a Godly mother and seeing how you live your life for Jesus is just a painful reminder of how she should be living that could cause her to feel guilty and lash out at you.

And of course, needless to say, the devil is right there to trip her up and makes sure that she falls!!He loves doing that with baby Christians, because they're the most vulnerable. That's why she and her friends need strong prayers in their behalf.

Wise words from Knight Michael about loving the Lord and disobeying your parents. My sincere prayer is that she will soon realize what a blessing it is to have a Godly parent, and that the Lord will put an appreciation in her heart for you. I think that will happen when she has to face the consequences of her actions, and then she will see that you are there with your unconditional love and support for her no matter what.

Anyway, just wanted to know that I love you as my dear sister in Christ, and that you have my support as well as your family here at RITA.

AngelHeart,

Dealing with a rebellious child is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My heart aches for both of you.

Tough love isn't easy, but the uncomfortable consequences of tough love are Nothing compared to the consequences of letting bad behavior go unpunished.

Your home is just that - yours. You are responsible for what happens within those walls. Your daughter must realize and respect that.

Allowing her behavior to continue unchecked is dangerous to both of you. Ask God for help in setting consequences and enforcing those consequences when your daughter fails to follow the rules of your home.

Tough love for a child is one of the hardest steps any parent can take. Worse, there is never an age when you can sit back and know the need for tough love has been outgrown.

Corgi mom and others have offered excellent advice. Please take it to heart and take a stand for yourself.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. I wish there was a simple answer to make it all go away but that won't happen 'til we're out of here.

Hang in there, Sis. It will get better.


P.S.

The fact that you are a single mom really has no bearing - a lot of married women are forced to parent alone because dads don't assume responsibility for what goes on in their homes.

Awww thank you Lisaleenie you are such a sweet soul and everyone thank you for all your prayers and advice I love you all!!!

My daughter is a child of God and belongs to him and Satan can not have her!!!!

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Thank you, Dear Angelheart, you're a sweetheart yourself!!

And a big AMEN to what you said about Satan taking his hands off your daughter!!

I'm a mom of a 21 yr old daughter & a 13 yr old daughter so Angelheart let me tell you what I would do. First off disapline is LOVE!!! If you do not disapline you do not love. There are rules to live in your home, set them out very clearly. There are consequences for every action. If she chooses to go against your set rules then she faces the consequence. You are in charge of her...she is not in charge of you. God allowed you to raise her, she was your gift from God, so raising her to be a good christian girl is your job. It doesn't matter if she doesn't like you or doesn't like your rules. You have to do what is right. You cannot let her walk on you and bring her friends over at 4 in the morning. How old is she anyway??? How long has she been disobeying you??? Feel free to email me if you want to talk about it at dfarmer4@hotmail.com Parenting is a tough job, that's for sure!

Thank you Darlene it is a tough job indeed I did't realize how tough until she became a teenager. She is 15 by the way. But she acts like she is 20!!!She just wants to live her life the way she wants to and doesn't want anyone controling her and telling her what to do with her life. That means school and me.

That is why she always threatens to run away because she is tired of everyone trying to control her life.

She is very stubborn and head strong!!!

That is why I have given her up to God because he is the only one that knows what is best because my way is not working so now it is up to God to take control.

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And remember AngelHeart, truancy is illegal, and if these absences are not accounted for, its the kids who will end up in front of a judge in Juevenile court first. Kids may think they can blow off parents and school but, they cannot break the law. They learn quick to respect rules when they end up in court and are facing serious charges. Its a healthy way to put the fear of God in them in my opinion.

Email: maria callison@hotmail.com

Just thought of something the Lord showed me a few months ago. Parents are the first authority in a child's life and if we do not teach our children to respect our authority then they will never respect God's law. When we stray away from God he allows us to face the consequences of our actions in hopes that we learn from our mistake and turn back to him.
Take your daughter to school and make it known to the school that you are struggling with her about this so that they know you are NOT supporting her skipping school. Then if she chooses to ditch school she needs to face the consequences of truancy. By protecting her from the consequences just pushes her farther into rebellion. It's time for TOUGH LOVE!!!! Oh and if these other friends of hers are 15 and staying out till 4:30am then they aren't any good for her either. You need to protect her now from the deadly path she is on. The wide path leads to death & destruction, the narrow path leads to life.

I agree, Darlene.

Patience... love them through those teen years! I know it's tough.

It may take a bit of getting her fingers burned, but she will return.

Try not to be overbearing, but a place of safety for when she strays. Being overbearing will just push her father away & make you the enemy. It's a balance thing.

AngelHeart,

Darlene said it very well. Excellent advice.

Your daughter is 15 and she's bossing you? I'm old school. My kids weren't allowed out on school nights unless they were with me and they weren't allowed to go out with friends until they were at least 16, unless said friend's parents were present. Missed curfews were not tolerated.

(Note: our house was the house where everyone came to stay. We weren't mean. We just had rules and the main one was to love every kid that came thru the door.)

(Same rules now apply to grandchildren and other youth residing with us.)

I don't want to be rude here. I love you and I'm worried about you and your daughter. A fifteen year old isn't too old to discipline. Nor is she too old to physically haul into school then face the truant officer if she skips out.

The first thing your daughter needs is a serious attitude adjustment, depending upon your discipline methods.

Is there another parent you can enlist as a mentor or help meet in dealing with this situation? Is there a local church youth group your daughter can attend?

Praying for you both.

Thank you all for your prayers and great advice I am listening to it all!!! This is the first time being a mom and I never realized how tough being a mom really was until she reached her teen years. She was a good kid up until now and I am just not use to dealing with a rebellious child I have always tried to show her love and it is hard to show tough love but if that is what it takes I will do what I have to protect my daughter.

I did tell her if she does not change her attitude to toward me and God she will not be going up in the rapture!!!

And I also told her I am trying to protect her from being locked up for not going to school.

SO I hope she now realizes if she does not change her attitude soon she will soon be suffering the consequences for her actions!!!

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AngelHeart,
Yes we are to show love.But (you) are the mother.
Love can be shown in many different ways.
The peace in your home does not need to be
disturbed.
If you can not talk to your daughter.Maybe some
from your church.
If not that,then someone in authority for sure.
I pray courage,strength,guidance and direction.
In Jesus name,
Star