"Millions of Unchurched Adults Are Christians Hurt by Churches But Can Be Healed of the Pain"

The above is the title of a wonderful article that can be helpful for those who have been wounded and hurt by other Christians.

It's worthy of reading if only to see the current statistics presented in the article.

Maybe someone will read this article and will find healing and comfort.

http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/12-faithspirituality/362-millions-of-unchurched-adults-are-christians-hurt-by-churches-but-can-be-healed-of-the-pain

Email: sweetbyandbyx2@yahoo.com

Here is the clickable link, Judith.

http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/12-faithspirituality/362-millions-of-unchurched-adults-are-christians-hurt-by-churches-but-can-be-healed-of-the-pain

Now I'm going back to read it. Sounds like a great article!

Thanks for posting this, Judith.

The part that stood out to me was the study that showed that 4 out of 10 people avoided church because they were hurt by the church where they went. So sad.

Great article.

Wow. Ok, I was a member at this church, involved in everything. All of my friends were there, I was there or with people from there a lot. I was trying to decide if I should move to another state for school and an older friend and his wife said they wanted to go to dinner and talk about it with me. We all set up a date then the date got changed. When I got there, turned out it was just me and the husband. That was the night I was told he "loved me" and that it isnt cheating if you love the person. I trusted him so much, it really hurt. This was several years ago and I still havent gotten settled at another church.

OOOOMY Kg2... that would be shocking.... I did have someone who was married invite hisself to go with me and another couple when we were about to go out to eat after an evening service.... it made it look like he was my date...uggg I was sooo uncomfortable and mad at him...he even told the waiter that he was going to pay for my meal.... sick sick.... he is now divorced and married again...this time I think he is happy and he is not chasing after the single women now....I would not be surprised if he was reading this board...lol.....oh well I have posted waaaaay too much on here....

But yes it is amazing how many times I have been hurt by people in the church....I could write a book!! and it still goes on today... but you have to do what you have to do for yourself and what pleases God and let God deal with any unjust....One of the most hurtful things was I connfinded in my "best friend" and she went to everyone on staff at church and told them what I told her....my pastor knew...but I forgave her and trusted her again... and she did it aagain and again...we are no longer friends and I have not talked to her in about 6 years adn I am not going to ever again.... unless I have to...lol

KG2--I'm so sorry you went through that. That would make it difficult to build trust in another church setting. You can take comfort in the fact you did the right thing but that doesn't take away the hurt. I know Our Lord is working on that. You've been wounded in serious ways. Psychologically, emotionally, and socially, besides spiritually. If you have a chance to enact James 5:13," to call for the elders of the Church to pray over him and annoint him with oil in the name of the Lord," I would encourage you to do so. These areas count as sicknes, too.

In our Church , we have special Sundays where this is done towards the end of the service. A Pastor and an elder together lay on hands on the one needing healing. The requester has a choice of kneeling or not and of being annointed or not for the healing process.

2nd Timothy 3 tells us "to have nothing to do with such people"--there's a list of godlessness characteristics there. We are to come out of them, as you've done. There is waiting for you a special crown in heaven.

I believe the Holy Spirit has sent you here to receive the love of brothers and sisters and their fellowship as you grow in Him. It's a place of safety and you can feel safe in sharing by remaining anonymous if desired.

Joyful Susan mentioned the possibility of those she knows maybe reading this board, too. So some of us need to be more cautious then others. You have the freedom of 'if' or 'when' to share your name. The freedom to choose. This is important when someone you trusted in the past betrayed or hurt you. It empowers you to feel in control.

The other thing that comes to mind (not my business to know, but to think about if it applies), is this older man involved with youth of the Church? In that case,my concern is for other young people, too. Did you take this to a senior Pastor or elder? This man needs to be confronted, by the elders--to be watched for the protection of others and to confront sin Bibically. If he's in a leadership position of any kind, he needs to be removed. That can not be tolerated inside the church.

It's not too late, if he's still there. You would be remembered as active as you were. Therefore, you should be listened to. The leadership there may be wondering whatever happened to good old KG2? Only you know, but if there's any chance anyone else could be hurt by this man, the elders and Pastor need to confront him. Is there an elder of Personnel? Maybe this has already been done, or he's moved on, etc. I just wanted to comment from the perspective that others won't get approached also.

I'm so glad you are out of it,but know you must miss your friends and contacts there. God bless you,KG2!

oh, he got away with it. no one would've believed it anyway (well, my FRIENDS would have but this guy was practically sainted there). I never heard of him pulling it on anyone else, but who knows? its a shame that so many people still think he's such a great guy, it makes me ill.

I have a feeling there will be many surprises with the rapture--those thought of as 'saints' not making it. And those not believed 'there'. I'm surprised by your friends though. No one stood up and believed you?? Or did you just feel they wouldn't? That's even sadder if you told them and they didn't believe you. You don't have to answer--just my humble opinion working overtime. Ha!

I do know what you mean about charter member types. I can see why you wouldn't want to point one out pubically. Also glad you seem to be aware on some level that he isn't doing this to someone else. That says you still have some sort of contact with the friends there. And hopefully they'll watch out for others also.

Your reward is soon coming. I'm glad you've told this story. It's a form of release. Telling it is healing, too. Blessings in the Lord.

The following is an excerpt from the article that offers pretty good sound counsel for the hurting. I hope it helps those of you who have suffered from bad church experiences..........



"Bestselling author Stephen Mansfield has written a new book (ReChurch) that digs into those experiences. As one who has been wounded by past church behavior, Mansfield encourages those who have been hurt by the local church to overcome that pain and suffering – if not in response to a biblical command or for the benefit of the church, then for their own healing and maturation.

Citing numerous examples, Mansfield notes that God uses people’s pain – and their own immaturity, in some cases – to reshape us. There is no denying that many churchgoers get wounded by the insensitive or ignorant actions of others in the church. Mansfield points out, though, that those instances are opportunities for us to love others who, like ourselves, are simply “flawed sinners.” Fleeing from the source of pain and suffering, rather than addressing and overcoming it, leaves us wounded and bitter, and does nothing to enhance our lives or those of the people responsible for that suffering.

The solution, according to Mansfield, is forgiveness – the same forgiveness that Jesus offers to each of us who have wounded Him. Christianity, after all, is about receiving freedom through God’s forgiveness extended to us. Offering that same forgiveness to others is the only means to us becoming healthy and whole again.

Mansfield’s new book, released is April, is entitled ReChurch. That title reflects the research showing that most unchurched people – more than four out of five – were formerly regular participants in church life, many of whom departed after an ugly incident that hurt them deeply. A former megachurch pastor who personally experienced the pain of a church disruption, Mansfield writes about his own experience of leaving and then returning to congregational life, as well as exploring the stories of others who have walked that road and the biblical support for such restoration."

http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/12-faithspirituality/362-millions-of-unchurched-adults-are-christians-hurt-by-churches-but-can-be-healed-of-the-pain

Email: sweetbyandbyx2@yahoo.com